Quantcast
4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs

The old SONGS and dance routine

SDG&E brings in nuclear safety consultant to allay concerns over waste storage.

D'oh!
D'oh!

NO, NOT REALLY — Hi, everybody! My name is Homer Simpson, and I’m a nuclear safety inspector at the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant in [REDACTED]. Don’t let the fact that I have yellow skin and only three fingers on each hand alarm you; where I come from, everyone looks like that, even people who don’t live downwind of the plant! That’s a little nuclear humor there. I know that nuclear radiation is no laughing matter, but I also know that it’s easier to enjoy jokes when you know you have nothing to worry about. Like you good people!

I’m here today because some “environmental advocates” have been expressing “concerns” about the nuclear waste we’re going to be storing right next to the Pacific Ocean at the old San Onofre nuclear plant for the next kajillion years. These “citizen activists” like to go on about how San Onofre shut down because the operators brought in “faulty steam generators,” and that now, they’re finding “flaws in the storage canisters.” They’re using words like “gross incompetence” and “increased oversight.” Crazy, right?

The truth is, there’s only a tiny chance that a tiny part of the canisters will fail and create a very tiny opening, through which a very, very tiny portion of waste — that would pose only a teeny-tiny bit hazardous to a super-teeny-tiny portion of the population — could ever escape. In short, if there’s ever going to be any problem at all, it will be a tiny one.

In short, everything is fine and you should all enjoy a complimentary donut from the buffet table and then go cheerfully about your business. Well, not complimentary, exactly. The cost will show up on your next bill, along with the cost of bringing me in to talk to you, and also the cost of any canister replacement we wind up having to do. I mean, that’s just standard op…hey, why are guys looking at me like that?

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all

Previous article

Angry Pete's Pizza brings Detroit to Kensington

Thick crust and caramelized cheese will make you forget about round pies
Next Article

Angry Pete's Pizza brings Detroit to Kensington

Thick crust and caramelized cheese will make you forget about round pies
D'oh!
D'oh!

NO, NOT REALLY — Hi, everybody! My name is Homer Simpson, and I’m a nuclear safety inspector at the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant in [REDACTED]. Don’t let the fact that I have yellow skin and only three fingers on each hand alarm you; where I come from, everyone looks like that, even people who don’t live downwind of the plant! That’s a little nuclear humor there. I know that nuclear radiation is no laughing matter, but I also know that it’s easier to enjoy jokes when you know you have nothing to worry about. Like you good people!

I’m here today because some “environmental advocates” have been expressing “concerns” about the nuclear waste we’re going to be storing right next to the Pacific Ocean at the old San Onofre nuclear plant for the next kajillion years. These “citizen activists” like to go on about how San Onofre shut down because the operators brought in “faulty steam generators,” and that now, they’re finding “flaws in the storage canisters.” They’re using words like “gross incompetence” and “increased oversight.” Crazy, right?

The truth is, there’s only a tiny chance that a tiny part of the canisters will fail and create a very tiny opening, through which a very, very tiny portion of waste — that would pose only a teeny-tiny bit hazardous to a super-teeny-tiny portion of the population — could ever escape. In short, if there’s ever going to be any problem at all, it will be a tiny one.

In short, everything is fine and you should all enjoy a complimentary donut from the buffet table and then go cheerfully about your business. Well, not complimentary, exactly. The cost will show up on your next bill, along with the cost of bringing me in to talk to you, and also the cost of any canister replacement we wind up having to do. I mean, that’s just standard op…hey, why are guys looking at me like that?

Sponsored
Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

Angry Pete's Pizza brings Detroit to Kensington

Thick crust and caramelized cheese will make you forget about round pies
Next Article

Make a wedding-and-wine statement from Nordstrom Rack and Schutz

Report from the land of brand whores
Comments
2

Thank you for a chortle over San Diego Graft & Extortion's report from its three-fingered nuclear consultant. I used to worry, but I have learned to love the bomb which I figure will come before those San Onofre containers of nuclear waste spring a teeny-tiny leak.

April 20, 2018

MPR wrote the "white paper" for Edison claiming only minor leaks. MPR recommended using the Idaho Test Area North (TAN) hot cell facility to replace leaking canisters. That hot cell was destroyed in 2007. The source of the TAN hot cell destruction was in an INL report. This is same INL report referenced by MPR as justification to use that hot cell. MPR in the same company claiming the four defectively designed Holtec canisters loaded at San Onofre are safe. More info, and video of TAN hot cell being destroyed, at SanOnofreSafety.org.

May 2, 2018

Sign in to comment

Sign in

Art Reviews — W.S. Di Piero's eye on exhibits Ask a Hipster — Advice you didn't know you needed Best Buys — San Diego shopping Big Screen — Movie commentary Blurt — Music's inside track Booze News — San Diego spirits City Lights — News and politics Classical Music — Immortal beauty Classifieds — Free and easy Cover Stories — Front-page features Excerpts — Literary and spiritual excerpts Famous Former Neighbors — Next-door celebs Feast! — Food & drink reviews Feature Stories — Local news & stories From the Archives — Spotlight on the past Golden Dreams — Talk of the town Here's the Deal — Chad Deal's watering holes Just Announced — The scoop on shows Letters — Our inbox [email protected] — Local movie buffs share favorites Movie Reviews — Our critics' picks and pans Musician Interviews — Up close with local artists Neighborhood News from Stringers — Hyperlocal news News Ticker — News & politics Obermeyer — San Diego politics illustrated Of Note — Concert picks Out & About — What's Happening Overheard in San Diego — Eavesdropping illustrated Poetry — The old and the new Pour Over — Grab a cup Reader Travel — Travel section built by travelers Reading — The hunt for intellectuals Roam-O-Rama — SoCal's best hiking/biking trails San Diego Beer News — Inside San Diego suds SD on the QT — Almost factual news Set 'em Up Joe — Bartenders' drink recipes Sheep and Goats — Places of worship Special Issues — The best of Sports — Athletics without gush Street Style — San Diego streets have style Suit Up — Fashion tips for dudes Theater Reviews — Local productions Theater antireviews — Narrow your search Tin Fork — Silver spoon alternative Under the Radar — Matt Potter's undercover work Unforgettable — Long-ago San Diego Unreal Estate — San Diego's priciest pads Waterfront — All things ocean Your Week — Daily event picks
4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
Close