Quantcast
4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs

Phone calls are the lobster bisque of communication methods

Common denominator: Mother's Day

Dear Hipster:

My phone doesn’t get service at home, so I sometimes message mutual friends from my boyfriend’s phone. Whenever I do that, I suffer the strangest quandary. I wonder, is it better to a) pretend to be him, and say “Liz was wondering”; b) introduce myself with, “Hey, it’s Liz using Charlie’s phone”; or c) do neither, and let the friend in question assume whatever he or she wants about the message’s origin?

— Liz, Normal Heights

More people ought to consider 21st-century epistemological dilemmas such as this. Do you want to know how I know that most people don’t? Because when I Google “using someone else’s phone,” the results split into roughly 100 million hits for “how to secretly read your boyfriend’s texts,” and another 10 to the eighth hits for “how to spoof someone else’s phone number in order to impersonate him.”

I paraphrased the results. The hit counts are real.

“How to handle the identity crisis of anonymously using someone else’s phone for purposes of only minor consequence” doesn’t even rate, so I guess the resolution of this formidable quandary falls to me.

My radical solution? Call. Potential misunderstandings eliminated.

I know. I know. Phone calls are dead. To quote fictional hipster Gina Linetti of Brooklyn 99, “Leave me a voicemail. I won’t check it ’cause it’s not 1993.”

I, along with a select group of forward-thinking hipster friends, have been quietly moving to resurrect the phone call. Were human communication edible, text messages would be two-for-99¢ Jack in the Box tacos. You could theoretically eat nothing else and survive, but would you want to? Phone calls, by contrast, are lobster bisque and steak au poivre — decadent, tragically out of fashion, and (let’s be honest) it’s very likely Mother’s Day if you’re having either.

The way I see it, making a phone call has the retro charm of a golden age when you had to hit the same key four times just to text a single s….except it’s still useful.

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all

Previous article

Royal Albert Home Virtual Country Concert, Comic-Con at Home

Events July 18-July 22, 2020
Next Article

Building paradise in San Diego

Mission Valley, Tijuana gardens, Otay Mesa, downtown skyscrapers, One Paseo, Rancho Santa Fe mansion

Dear Hipster:

My phone doesn’t get service at home, so I sometimes message mutual friends from my boyfriend’s phone. Whenever I do that, I suffer the strangest quandary. I wonder, is it better to a) pretend to be him, and say “Liz was wondering”; b) introduce myself with, “Hey, it’s Liz using Charlie’s phone”; or c) do neither, and let the friend in question assume whatever he or she wants about the message’s origin?

— Liz, Normal Heights

More people ought to consider 21st-century epistemological dilemmas such as this. Do you want to know how I know that most people don’t? Because when I Google “using someone else’s phone,” the results split into roughly 100 million hits for “how to secretly read your boyfriend’s texts,” and another 10 to the eighth hits for “how to spoof someone else’s phone number in order to impersonate him.”

I paraphrased the results. The hit counts are real.

“How to handle the identity crisis of anonymously using someone else’s phone for purposes of only minor consequence” doesn’t even rate, so I guess the resolution of this formidable quandary falls to me.

My radical solution? Call. Potential misunderstandings eliminated.

I know. I know. Phone calls are dead. To quote fictional hipster Gina Linetti of Brooklyn 99, “Leave me a voicemail. I won’t check it ’cause it’s not 1993.”

I, along with a select group of forward-thinking hipster friends, have been quietly moving to resurrect the phone call. Were human communication edible, text messages would be two-for-99¢ Jack in the Box tacos. You could theoretically eat nothing else and survive, but would you want to? Phone calls, by contrast, are lobster bisque and steak au poivre — decadent, tragically out of fashion, and (let’s be honest) it’s very likely Mother’s Day if you’re having either.

The way I see it, making a phone call has the retro charm of a golden age when you had to hit the same key four times just to text a single s….except it’s still useful.

Sponsored
Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

When it's too hot for soup at Pho Ca Dao

Summery dishes fit for outdoor dining on a summer day in Mission Valley
Next Article

When it's too hot for soup at Pho Ca Dao

Summery dishes fit for outdoor dining on a summer day in Mission Valley
Comments
0

Be the first to leave a comment.

Sign in to comment

Sign in

Art Reviews — W.S. Di Piero's eye on exhibits Ask a Hipster — Advice you didn't know you needed Best Buys — San Diego shopping Big Screen — Movie commentary Blurt — Music's inside track Booze News — San Diego spirits City Lights — News and politics Classical Music — Immortal beauty Classifieds — Free and easy Cover Stories — Front-page features Excerpts — Literary and spiritual excerpts Famous Former Neighbors — Next-door celebs Feast! — Food & drink reviews Feature Stories — Local news & stories From the Archives — Spotlight on the past Golden Dreams — Talk of the town Here's the Deal — Chad Deal's watering holes Just Announced — The scoop on shows Letters — Our inbox [email protected] — Local movie buffs share favorites Movie Reviews — Our critics' picks and pans Musician Interviews — Up close with local artists Neighborhood News from Stringers — Hyperlocal news News Ticker — News & politics Obermeyer — San Diego politics illustrated Of Note — Concert picks Out & About — What's Happening Overheard in San Diego — Eavesdropping illustrated Poetry — The old and the new Pour Over — Grab a cup Reader Travel — Travel section built by travelers Reading — The hunt for intellectuals Roam-O-Rama — SoCal's best hiking/biking trails San Diego Beer News — Inside San Diego suds SD on the QT — Almost factual news Set 'em Up Joe — Bartenders' drink recipes Sheep and Goats — Places of worship Special Issues — The best of Sports — Athletics without gush Street Style — San Diego streets have style Suit Up — Fashion tips for dudes Theater Reviews — Local productions Theater antireviews — Narrow your search Tin Fork — Silver spoon alternative Under the Radar — Matt Potter's undercover work Unforgettable — Long-ago San Diego Unreal Estate — San Diego's priciest pads Waterfront — All things ocean Your Week — Daily event picks
4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
Close