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Authenticity from the days of Oog

Pedigree questioned, and answered

Dear Hipster:

I don’t doubt you per se, but how are we supposed to accept your word as THE hipster? Are there not other, perhaps more authoritative hipsters? If my doctor couldn’t show me a diploma from med school, I wouldn’t invite him to perform open-heart surgery. Get my drift?

— Alan, La Mesa

As it happens, I come from a long line of hipsters.

Both my grandparents survived the Depression by pickling onions and artichokes at their roadside stand made out of a converted 1922 Chevy panel truck. They tried making sales to the Okies who were coming into California. They didn’t really make any money, but the stand kept their hopes and dreams alive. Old family photos show them standing by the truck next to a chalkboard sign that reads “Sustainably grown, Hawley-Smoot Tariff-exempt Produce.”

Video:

"Maple Leaf Rag" by Scott Joplin

Going back in the family tree, there’s old Kittredge Stevens, who always complained that Scott Joplin “sold out” with “Maple Leaf Rag.”

Back in Colonial Times, William Jasper Stevens IV didn’t take part in the Boston Tea Party, but only because he was too busy attending a cupping seminar at a small coffee shop in Quincy.

I don’t know if it’s true, but my father always told me that the first hipster in our family was a 13th-century French artist named Villard de Honnecourt. Apparently, “Great Uncle Villard” pretty much did everything Leonardo da Vinci did, but, like, a hundred years before.

Records get pretty spotty before then, but I’ve always liked to think that we Stevenses have been hip since the dawn of time. Somewhere back there, my ancestor, Oog the Cavehipster, figured out how to sharpen antelope bones into primitive razors, with which he cultivated a cave mustache to woo the pretty Neanderthal girls at the local cavebar.

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Dear Hipster:

I don’t doubt you per se, but how are we supposed to accept your word as THE hipster? Are there not other, perhaps more authoritative hipsters? If my doctor couldn’t show me a diploma from med school, I wouldn’t invite him to perform open-heart surgery. Get my drift?

— Alan, La Mesa

As it happens, I come from a long line of hipsters.

Both my grandparents survived the Depression by pickling onions and artichokes at their roadside stand made out of a converted 1922 Chevy panel truck. They tried making sales to the Okies who were coming into California. They didn’t really make any money, but the stand kept their hopes and dreams alive. Old family photos show them standing by the truck next to a chalkboard sign that reads “Sustainably grown, Hawley-Smoot Tariff-exempt Produce.”

Video:

"Maple Leaf Rag" by Scott Joplin

Going back in the family tree, there’s old Kittredge Stevens, who always complained that Scott Joplin “sold out” with “Maple Leaf Rag.”

Back in Colonial Times, William Jasper Stevens IV didn’t take part in the Boston Tea Party, but only because he was too busy attending a cupping seminar at a small coffee shop in Quincy.

I don’t know if it’s true, but my father always told me that the first hipster in our family was a 13th-century French artist named Villard de Honnecourt. Apparently, “Great Uncle Villard” pretty much did everything Leonardo da Vinci did, but, like, a hundred years before.

Records get pretty spotty before then, but I’ve always liked to think that we Stevenses have been hip since the dawn of time. Somewhere back there, my ancestor, Oog the Cavehipster, figured out how to sharpen antelope bones into primitive razors, with which he cultivated a cave mustache to woo the pretty Neanderthal girls at the local cavebar.

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4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
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