Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs

I, Frankenstein? Wait for iPhone!

Frankenstein's eye.
Frankenstein's eye.

From the producers of Underworld and one of the the scripters responsible for Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl comes...frankly, if that ignominious ancestry doesn’t scare you off, nothing will.

January has become a terrifying month for horror films, as with each passing year we ring in the new with hoary comic book hanky-panky aimed at undemanding gamers who don’t like it when storytelling gets in the way of their visual effects. After all, these are the kids who made the Underworld franchise — with it’s genre-bending flying werewolves — such a big success.

Knowing full well that fanboys aren’t the ones to court with Oscar-bait, for the past five years Hollywood has counter-booked the slowest month of the year with recycled horrors such as The Unborn, My Bloody Valentine 3D, Legion, The Rite, The Devil Inside, Underworld: Awakening, Beneath the Darkness, Texas Chainsaw 3D, and Mama.

Sponsored
Sponsored

Shot as a “flatty,” Lionsgate soon realized the only way to add depth to this goth pancake was a 3-D conversion. In February of 2013 the studio pushed back the release date. Six months later it was announced that the film would be re-digitized for IMAX and finally see the light of day on January 24, 2014.

Movie

I, Frankenstein

thumbnail

From the producers of <em>Underworld</em> and one of the the scripters responsible for <em>Pirates of the Caribbean</em> come...frankly, if that ignominious ancestry doesn’t scare you off, nothing will. After centuries spent battling anonymous creatures, Frank Jr. finds himself in the middle of a confrontation between the gargoyles and the demons. More comic book hanky-panky aimed at undemanding gamers who don’t like it when storytelling gets in the way of their visual effects. The gargoyles are bivouacked on the far, </em>far</em> outskirts of London in the candlelit Notre Dame Cathedral. (More than 200 years fighting amongst themselves leaves little time for these critters to discover the miracle of electricity.) Fanboy sweetheart Aaron “Two-face” Eckhart is called upon to don another grisly guise, minus the green veneer and matching collar bolts, and roughhouse in the company of gargoyles. The actor makes no attempt to sound or act like a 200-year-old melange of spare body parts found lying around the lab. Wait for iPhone.

Find showtimes

After at least a dozen theatrical viewings of the trailer, the idea of a Frankenstein monster wreaking havoc on modern day London oddly appealed to me. With the exception of one or two scenes, the film looks to have been shot in the CG (cobalt gray?) ravages of post-WWII Berlin. There’s not a civilian in sight!

The first ten minutes had me convinced I was watching a sequel. The opening credit encapsulation of the creation of the monster plays like a recap from a previous feature. Either that, or in the time it took to for the digital bump-up, they went back and did a little trimming.

After centuries spent battling anonymous creatures, Frank Jr. finds himself in the middle of a gut-busting, mother-loving confrontation between two warring factions, the gargoyles and the demons. Fanboy sweetheart Aaron “Two-face” Eckhart is called upon to don another grisly guise — minus the green veneer and matching collar bolts — and roughhouse in the company of gargoyles. He’s nicknamed “Adam” by Lenore (Miranda Otto), the High Queen of the gargoyle order, blessed with a regal flair for dispensing backstory and exposition.

Somewhere in another part of England are housed an army of demon corpses ready to be re-animated at the touch of a button. The gargoyles are bivouacked on the far, far outskirts of London in the candlelit Notre Dame Cathedral. (More than 200 years in the planning and these critters have yet to discover the miracle of electricity.)

I worship Bill Nighy far too much to shit on his steely-eyed, jaw-stretching walk through as the demon prince/capitalist big wheel, Nabeus. Nighy has served cinema well with outstanding performances in dozens of smaller pictures. Let him enjoy another big payday. Eckhart, an old hand at this type of graphic novel grime, makes no attempt to sound or act like a 200-year-old melange of spare body parts found lying around the lab.

Final verdict: I, Frankenstein 3D, you out $13.50.

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

San Diego's Uptown Planners challenged by renters from Vibrant Uptown

Two La Jolla planning groups fight for predominance
Next Article

20 Best Online Casinos USA For Real Money (2024 List)

USA Online Casinos: Top 20 Online Casino Sites of 2024
Frankenstein's eye.
Frankenstein's eye.

From the producers of Underworld and one of the the scripters responsible for Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl comes...frankly, if that ignominious ancestry doesn’t scare you off, nothing will.

January has become a terrifying month for horror films, as with each passing year we ring in the new with hoary comic book hanky-panky aimed at undemanding gamers who don’t like it when storytelling gets in the way of their visual effects. After all, these are the kids who made the Underworld franchise — with it’s genre-bending flying werewolves — such a big success.

Knowing full well that fanboys aren’t the ones to court with Oscar-bait, for the past five years Hollywood has counter-booked the slowest month of the year with recycled horrors such as The Unborn, My Bloody Valentine 3D, Legion, The Rite, The Devil Inside, Underworld: Awakening, Beneath the Darkness, Texas Chainsaw 3D, and Mama.

Sponsored
Sponsored

Shot as a “flatty,” Lionsgate soon realized the only way to add depth to this goth pancake was a 3-D conversion. In February of 2013 the studio pushed back the release date. Six months later it was announced that the film would be re-digitized for IMAX and finally see the light of day on January 24, 2014.

Movie

I, Frankenstein

thumbnail

From the producers of <em>Underworld</em> and one of the the scripters responsible for <em>Pirates of the Caribbean</em> come...frankly, if that ignominious ancestry doesn’t scare you off, nothing will. After centuries spent battling anonymous creatures, Frank Jr. finds himself in the middle of a confrontation between the gargoyles and the demons. More comic book hanky-panky aimed at undemanding gamers who don’t like it when storytelling gets in the way of their visual effects. The gargoyles are bivouacked on the far, </em>far</em> outskirts of London in the candlelit Notre Dame Cathedral. (More than 200 years fighting amongst themselves leaves little time for these critters to discover the miracle of electricity.) Fanboy sweetheart Aaron “Two-face” Eckhart is called upon to don another grisly guise, minus the green veneer and matching collar bolts, and roughhouse in the company of gargoyles. The actor makes no attempt to sound or act like a 200-year-old melange of spare body parts found lying around the lab. Wait for iPhone.

Find showtimes

After at least a dozen theatrical viewings of the trailer, the idea of a Frankenstein monster wreaking havoc on modern day London oddly appealed to me. With the exception of one or two scenes, the film looks to have been shot in the CG (cobalt gray?) ravages of post-WWII Berlin. There’s not a civilian in sight!

The first ten minutes had me convinced I was watching a sequel. The opening credit encapsulation of the creation of the monster plays like a recap from a previous feature. Either that, or in the time it took to for the digital bump-up, they went back and did a little trimming.

After centuries spent battling anonymous creatures, Frank Jr. finds himself in the middle of a gut-busting, mother-loving confrontation between two warring factions, the gargoyles and the demons. Fanboy sweetheart Aaron “Two-face” Eckhart is called upon to don another grisly guise — minus the green veneer and matching collar bolts — and roughhouse in the company of gargoyles. He’s nicknamed “Adam” by Lenore (Miranda Otto), the High Queen of the gargoyle order, blessed with a regal flair for dispensing backstory and exposition.

Somewhere in another part of England are housed an army of demon corpses ready to be re-animated at the touch of a button. The gargoyles are bivouacked on the far, far outskirts of London in the candlelit Notre Dame Cathedral. (More than 200 years in the planning and these critters have yet to discover the miracle of electricity.)

I worship Bill Nighy far too much to shit on his steely-eyed, jaw-stretching walk through as the demon prince/capitalist big wheel, Nabeus. Nighy has served cinema well with outstanding performances in dozens of smaller pictures. Let him enjoy another big payday. Eckhart, an old hand at this type of graphic novel grime, makes no attempt to sound or act like a 200-year-old melange of spare body parts found lying around the lab.

Final verdict: I, Frankenstein 3D, you out $13.50.

Comments
Sponsored
Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

Angry Pete’s goes from pop-up to drive-thru

Detroit Pizza sidles into the husk of a shuttered Taco Bell
Next Article

Top Websites To Buy Instagram Likes + Bonus Tip!

Comments
Ask a Hipster — Advice you didn't know you needed Big Screen — Movie commentary Blurt — Music's inside track Booze News — San Diego spirits Classical Music — Immortal beauty Classifieds — Free and easy Cover Stories — Front-page features Drinks All Around — Bartenders' drink recipes Excerpts — Literary and spiritual excerpts Feast! — Food & drink reviews Feature Stories — Local news & stories Fishing Report — What’s getting hooked from ship and shore From the Archives — Spotlight on the past Golden Dreams — Talk of the town The Gonzo Report — Making the musical scene, or at least reporting from it Letters — Our inbox Movies@Home — Local movie buffs share favorites Movie Reviews — Our critics' picks and pans Musician Interviews — Up close with local artists Neighborhood News from Stringers — Hyperlocal news News Ticker — News & politics Obermeyer — San Diego politics illustrated Outdoors — Weekly changes in flora and fauna Overheard in San Diego — Eavesdropping illustrated Poetry — The old and the new Reader Travel — Travel section built by travelers Reading — The hunt for intellectuals Roam-O-Rama — SoCal's best hiking/biking trails San Diego Beer — Inside San Diego suds SD on the QT — Almost factual news Sheep and Goats — Places of worship Special Issues — The best of Street Style — San Diego streets have style Surf Diego — Real stories from those braving the waves Theater — On stage in San Diego this week Tin Fork — Silver spoon alternative Under the Radar — Matt Potter's undercover work Unforgettable — Long-ago San Diego Unreal Estate — San Diego's priciest pads Your Week — Daily event picks
4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
Close

Anchor ads are not supported on this page.