Adventures in Love

Address: janicebowles.wordpress.com

Author: Janice Bowles

From: Carmel Valley

Blogging since: February 2010

• Post Title: Sandra Bullock and Jesse…Now What?
• Post Date: April 6, 2010

Every relationship is a dance with both people whirling around the dance floor together. In other words, both Sandra and James co-created their relationship; therefore, both of them are responsible for what happened…. I’m not saying that Sandra is responsible for his choosing to sashay out with however many tattooed, um, ladies he made it with. Of course she isn’t. But she is responsible for her half of the relationship dance. The dance that created the conditions that allowed this to happen.

So if I were sitting with Sandra over a cup of tea, or better still a beer at Shultz’s in Austin, here’s what I would say: “You are not the victim so many people think you are. ‘Poor Sandra…look what that louse did to her.’ I don’t believe that, and if you believe it and stand on your self-righteous soapbox railing about how you were done to, you will not use this great opportunity to move forward. On some level, you needed the upheaval. You needed to shake things up so that ultimately you could find a higher spiritual and emotional level of living.”

• Post Title: Tiger Woods…from Tiger’s perspective.
• Post Date: April 13, 2010

Because Tiger was so blatant (another word might be “stupid”) in his dalliances, I’ve wondered if he might not have wanted to get caught. Why? Because some kind of change was needed.

Another thought, perhaps on some level, the unreality of his goody two-shoes image weighed on him.

I don’t know if he was pushed too hard by his father from a very early age, and whether that might have played a part in all of this as well. You know, by tarnishing his well-oiled image (the Tiger his dad wanted him to be) he could get back at Daddy.

Tiger went to rehab, allegedly for a sex addiction. Addictions are used to cover up pain…. If we scratch [the] surface, we will find lost souls who are making incredibly painful choices in order to learn valuable life lessons; lessons that would enable them to move to a higher, more conscious, more joyful level of living.

Post Title: Al & Tipper: Did They Fail?

Post Date: June 5, 2010

Who knows about the Gores? Maybe after 40 years, their marriage, like mine, had simply run its course. Perhaps they needed to grow in ways that their marriage couldn’t accommodate. Maybe it was just time to experience new and different things, to find fulfillment in other ways, and perhaps, like my ex and I, they will find another form for their relationship that suits the people they have become, not the people they once were. A form that will nurture them as their marriage once did…deep friendship, supportive companions, or people who don’t even see each other, but still carry each other in their hearts. It takes courage to call it quits after so long and kudos to them for having the strength to do it in the way that they have — by talking it through, maturely, mindfully, and coming to a mutual decision.

• Post Title: Arnold: Thinking with the little head.
• Post Date: May 18, 2011

I would say poor Maria, but I can’t because I believe that whatever happened, she will be all the better for it.

Seems to me, she gave up a lot for him. I doubt she ever wanted to be the California governor’s little wifey when she had a great career of her own, which presumably she really enjoyed.

Maria is not a victim. I wonder how long she ignored her gut…. Then again, she comes from a family famous for looking the other way. Remember Jackie? Yes, Arnold betrayed Maria. But did Maria betray herself? And is the self-betrayal her contribution to what happened? Just throwing the question out there... It’s up to her to answer it. And I’m quite sure she will. This is not a woman who will just sit around and cry.

[Posts edited for length.]