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You Can't Drink The Early Bird Special

Its hard find a good place to drink in Chula Vista. I don't know what scheme the city planners enacted to kill the night life, but it worked. Finding a nice bar in Chula Vista is harder than finding a golf course in San Ysidro.

There are plenty of places to buy drinks in Chula Vista. Restaurants. Grocery stores. Sushi bars. But there are no true night life spots. Nowhere to stand around with good friends, listen to music, buy a few rounds, and drink a little too much.

Instead, if you want to get a drink after the sun goes down, you may be stuck at Chili's. Nothing is better than doing a shot next to a kid in a highchair. Margarita Chicken is not a substitute for a margarita. Chili's is where youth goes to die. Nothing is more fun than telling stories about the night Mary had too many chicken fingers.

Zorba's is an option. Located in west Chula Vista, it's loaded with history. Unfortunately, its patrons are loaded with history, too. They can tell you about the Truman presidency while scooping up Greek salad from the buffet. Belly dancers, corduroy jackets, and early bird specials don't exactly create a festive night out for those too young for Social Security.

If you feel like drinking in a trailer, then the Archway is the place for you. At night, the place actually looks like a building. In daylight, however, its true character is exposed. The Archway is actually two trailers linked together. It's a great place to get drunk and pray that a tornado doesn't touch down. Plus, if you want to complete the Southern experience, you can get some teeth pulled at the dental office next door. Seriously. I think we all agree that the best memories are formed next door to a dentist's office and across the street from a storm drain.

In east Chula Vista, the Brewhouse in Eastlake seems like an option. It's located right between Ashley Furniture and Bassett Furniture. That way, you can watch sofas being loaded onto trucks while you celebrate. I heard that the Toadies are going to perform there and then buy some lamps for the recording studio. Six dollar pints and 22% financing are a match made in heaven.

Some people like to head to Brunswick Lanes for a night of fun. The problem is that it's a bowling alley. Bowling alleys stopped being fun when cars started getting more than 12 miles per gallon. They have tried to reinvent the alley at night by featuring Cosmic Bowling. It's a neon lights and music. I think they forgot to watch CSI though, because neon lights illuminate germs. Nothing is better than reaching down and sticking your fingers into a ball that's lit up like a motel crime scene.

Chula Vista is a great place to live. Chula Vista is a great place to hang out and shop and eat. There are great parks and good neighborhoods. But, if you want a great place to celebrate the night life, you must head north. Chula Vista translates to "beautiful view" because with the right telescope, you can see people having fun at night elsewhere in the county.

Now, please don't bother me. It's 9:44 p.m. and I'm going to bed. That's how we do it in Chula Vista.

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Its hard find a good place to drink in Chula Vista. I don't know what scheme the city planners enacted to kill the night life, but it worked. Finding a nice bar in Chula Vista is harder than finding a golf course in San Ysidro.

There are plenty of places to buy drinks in Chula Vista. Restaurants. Grocery stores. Sushi bars. But there are no true night life spots. Nowhere to stand around with good friends, listen to music, buy a few rounds, and drink a little too much.

Instead, if you want to get a drink after the sun goes down, you may be stuck at Chili's. Nothing is better than doing a shot next to a kid in a highchair. Margarita Chicken is not a substitute for a margarita. Chili's is where youth goes to die. Nothing is more fun than telling stories about the night Mary had too many chicken fingers.

Zorba's is an option. Located in west Chula Vista, it's loaded with history. Unfortunately, its patrons are loaded with history, too. They can tell you about the Truman presidency while scooping up Greek salad from the buffet. Belly dancers, corduroy jackets, and early bird specials don't exactly create a festive night out for those too young for Social Security.

If you feel like drinking in a trailer, then the Archway is the place for you. At night, the place actually looks like a building. In daylight, however, its true character is exposed. The Archway is actually two trailers linked together. It's a great place to get drunk and pray that a tornado doesn't touch down. Plus, if you want to complete the Southern experience, you can get some teeth pulled at the dental office next door. Seriously. I think we all agree that the best memories are formed next door to a dentist's office and across the street from a storm drain.

In east Chula Vista, the Brewhouse in Eastlake seems like an option. It's located right between Ashley Furniture and Bassett Furniture. That way, you can watch sofas being loaded onto trucks while you celebrate. I heard that the Toadies are going to perform there and then buy some lamps for the recording studio. Six dollar pints and 22% financing are a match made in heaven.

Some people like to head to Brunswick Lanes for a night of fun. The problem is that it's a bowling alley. Bowling alleys stopped being fun when cars started getting more than 12 miles per gallon. They have tried to reinvent the alley at night by featuring Cosmic Bowling. It's a neon lights and music. I think they forgot to watch CSI though, because neon lights illuminate germs. Nothing is better than reaching down and sticking your fingers into a ball that's lit up like a motel crime scene.

Chula Vista is a great place to live. Chula Vista is a great place to hang out and shop and eat. There are great parks and good neighborhoods. But, if you want a great place to celebrate the night life, you must head north. Chula Vista translates to "beautiful view" because with the right telescope, you can see people having fun at night elsewhere in the county.

Now, please don't bother me. It's 9:44 p.m. and I'm going to bed. That's how we do it in Chula Vista.

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Comments
9

Funny stuff. I laughed out loud at the shot next to the kid in the highchair, the motel crime scene, and how you do it in Chula Vista.

June 23, 2009

Thanks shizzy. Peace.

June 24, 2009

Congratulations on winning this month!!! good job! :)

July 1, 2009

Thanks magics. Much appreciated.

July 2, 2009

I think it's a witty and charming entry, certainly more than deserving of the prize. It's almost Brizzolara-esque.

There is a place in Chula Vista ("Chula" means more "cute" than "pretty" by the way, gotta love the diversity of the Spanish language) that we drank after work on several occasions in years past. It is an El Torito on Bay Blvd. between E and F that isn't too bad.

July 2, 2009

This was a fun story to read. Good job.

July 3, 2009

Thanks, gringo. That's the El Torito next to Anthony's, right? Cool place. But, like the rest, not a true night life spot. Peace.

July 3, 2009

Winning entries are ramping up! Congrats--a very fun read.

July 3, 2009

You hit the nail on the head with this one! Love Chula Vista, but not so much the "night life."

Sept. 2, 2009

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4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
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