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Tuesday, March 21

Real Housewives of Orange County

BRAVO 10:00 p.m. This reeks of the shoulder-pad '80s, when cocaine, European cars, and flipped up pastel collars were the only thing that could get you laid. I can't wait until the grunge, dirty blue jeans, and watery American beer days come back around and -- thank you, God -- I'll be cool again.

Wednesday, March 22

Dennis DeYoung: The Music of Styx With Symphony Orchestra

PBS 8:00 p.m. If this concert was an hors d'oeuvre and it was handed to me at a party, I'd have two choices: force it down with teary eyes and pray that it didn't come back up or graciously accept it, sneak it into my pocket, and deposit it in a nearby planter.

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