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Wednesday, February 1

Access Hollywood

NBC 10:30 a.m. The combination of names for couples that started with "Bennifer" and has culminated with "Brangelina" isn't at all annoying. I don't want to grind my teeth against the curb whenever I see "Vinnifer" in print. I'm mindless, and I enjoy the latest trends crammed up my ass like a Christmas turkey enjoys five pounds of breadcrumbs.

Thursday, February 2

Dancing With the Stars

ABC 8:00 p.m. Dancing with Celebrities , Skating with Stars , I refuse. Not until Kicking a Former N*Sync Pansy Right in his Ghoulies premieres will I watch a reality show that mingles plain folk with erstwhile famous performers.

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