Quantcast
4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs

Ms. Simon’s Century

I got an invitation for a New York party. I thought that was a long way to go until, reading on, I realized that it was in Rancho Santa Fe. There's always great food and wine at the parties there, though the wine would cause me slight embarrassment (more on that later).The party was for Laura Simon, who was turning 100.

I arrived at the gated community an hour late. All the guests were seated and eating when I walked in. It was kosher food, and the Jewish foods that I hate. (My grandmother is rolling in her grave.) I walked to the bar, poured myself a drink, and scanned the room for a place to sit. I saw a lot of yarmulkes, and a few skin yarmulkes -- bald spots. There were rabbis. There wasn't an available seat at the table, so I sipped my wine and watched the two musicians play.

An attractive blonde came over to get a drink. We made small talk. I told her I was from the Reader, and she told me she liked it when the Reader made fun of Rancho Santa Fe residents. She invited me to sit at her table. When I mentioned the rich people at Rancho Santa Fe parties, she said, "Yeah, well, you've already had your first faux pas. You poured your wine in the wrong glass." She grabbed a wine glass and poured me another. We headed to her table, where I met her husband. They told me that they were neighbors of Laura's.

I discussed writing with a friendly woman sitting next to me. When she got up to say a few words, she mentioned her husband, Don Harrison. I knew there was a Donald Harrison who had written for Jewish publications in town, and I often wondered if he was the father of a girl I dated in the early '90s. When she sat down, I asked her if she had a daughter named Sandi. It turned out that the Harrisons were Sandi's parents. I didn't want to ask too many questions about her, because I thought it would be awkward for them to talk about Sandi with one of her old boyfriends.

As I looked for a fork, one woman said, "They ran out of forks, but I'm done with mine. You can use it." She washed her fork in the sink for me. The food I tried wasn't as bad as I remembered Jewish food being. (My grandmother can stop rolling.)

It was the cake I was looking forward to -- it was huge. It had to be to hold 100 candles. I heard the usual birthday-candle jokes. One person talked about it being a fire hazard. Another said, "This cake really lights up the room!" Another person said, "There is no possible way she'll blow out the candles." She did. It took her a few tries, as it was difficult for her to lean over the big cake, but she did it.

The people who got up to speak about Laura had interesting and funny things to say. Congressman Lionel Van Deerlin, who is in his early 90s, laughed about finally being invited to a party in Rancho Santa Fe. He then complained about having only one minute to speak. He told a story about seeing Woodrow Wilson at a train station in Oceanside.

It's interesting when older people talk about historic events. Laura mentioned hearing the news of the Titanic sinking. She said she had to ask her mother what an ocean liner was.

Laura's son, Mayo Simon, had some touching things to say. He's an accomplished playwright from New York, who has written for Broadway and the movies. A guy at the party told me that Simon wrote Judy Garland's final movie, I Could Go On Singing. He also co-wrote the science-fiction film Westworld. I was curious if he was on the set with James Brolin and Yul Brynner or if the writer just turns in the script and is done with it, but I never got a chance to ask him that. I also would liked to have asked him if he was satisfied with how his film Marooned turned out, and what he thought of the late Gregory Peck's (a San Diegan) performance in it. (Marooned also starred Gene Hackman in one of his first roles.)

I wanted to discuss movies with Simon, but thought it might be tacky when the other guests were approaching him to tell him how lovely his mother was.

I also thought about discussing with him screenplays I've written, but remembered how I feel when people approach me at parties to pitch story ideas for the Reader . I decided against it. Besides, Simon's 100-year-old mother was shopping a book she wrote called I Am Still Here. I'm sure he would be more concerned with helping her find a publisher than pointing me in the right direction.

Laura's great-granddaughter got up and spoke. She flew in from art school in New York, and got teary eyed as she spoke, which had the rest of us in tears. There's an 80-year age difference between Laura and her.

Two high-school students were at the party to show a documentary that they made about Laura. It was fun listening to her talk about her life in it. Working at age 13, earning $6 a week; being married for 82 years. And to think, I got tired of my last girlfriend after a month!

The blonde neighbor who had approached me earlier at the party would occasionally smile at me or come over to make sure I was enjoying myself. When she told me she was from Jersey, I was surprised; I didn't notice an accent.

A rabbi talked and joked. I wondered why the rabbis and priests I've seen at weddings try to be funny. They rarely are. Yet everyone gives them courtesy laughs.

As I was leaving, Mrs. Harrison handed me her daughter's e-mail address. That was nice of her. I drove away wondering if I should e-mail Sandi to say hello, and how to do it without coming across as a pathetic ex-boyfriend pining for the past.

Crash your party? Call 619-235-3000 x421 and leave an invitation for Josh Board.

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all

Previous article

The glamour and crime of Tijuana

Club Campestre abduction, cross-border prostitution, Russian-owned gym, TJ's new night scene
Next Article

Wall of Moms MAGA?

Non-profit expands efforts to include stopping flow of drugs to kids

I got an invitation for a New York party. I thought that was a long way to go until, reading on, I realized that it was in Rancho Santa Fe. There's always great food and wine at the parties there, though the wine would cause me slight embarrassment (more on that later).The party was for Laura Simon, who was turning 100.

I arrived at the gated community an hour late. All the guests were seated and eating when I walked in. It was kosher food, and the Jewish foods that I hate. (My grandmother is rolling in her grave.) I walked to the bar, poured myself a drink, and scanned the room for a place to sit. I saw a lot of yarmulkes, and a few skin yarmulkes -- bald spots. There were rabbis. There wasn't an available seat at the table, so I sipped my wine and watched the two musicians play.

An attractive blonde came over to get a drink. We made small talk. I told her I was from the Reader, and she told me she liked it when the Reader made fun of Rancho Santa Fe residents. She invited me to sit at her table. When I mentioned the rich people at Rancho Santa Fe parties, she said, "Yeah, well, you've already had your first faux pas. You poured your wine in the wrong glass." She grabbed a wine glass and poured me another. We headed to her table, where I met her husband. They told me that they were neighbors of Laura's.

I discussed writing with a friendly woman sitting next to me. When she got up to say a few words, she mentioned her husband, Don Harrison. I knew there was a Donald Harrison who had written for Jewish publications in town, and I often wondered if he was the father of a girl I dated in the early '90s. When she sat down, I asked her if she had a daughter named Sandi. It turned out that the Harrisons were Sandi's parents. I didn't want to ask too many questions about her, because I thought it would be awkward for them to talk about Sandi with one of her old boyfriends.

As I looked for a fork, one woman said, "They ran out of forks, but I'm done with mine. You can use it." She washed her fork in the sink for me. The food I tried wasn't as bad as I remembered Jewish food being. (My grandmother can stop rolling.)

It was the cake I was looking forward to -- it was huge. It had to be to hold 100 candles. I heard the usual birthday-candle jokes. One person talked about it being a fire hazard. Another said, "This cake really lights up the room!" Another person said, "There is no possible way she'll blow out the candles." She did. It took her a few tries, as it was difficult for her to lean over the big cake, but she did it.

The people who got up to speak about Laura had interesting and funny things to say. Congressman Lionel Van Deerlin, who is in his early 90s, laughed about finally being invited to a party in Rancho Santa Fe. He then complained about having only one minute to speak. He told a story about seeing Woodrow Wilson at a train station in Oceanside.

It's interesting when older people talk about historic events. Laura mentioned hearing the news of the Titanic sinking. She said she had to ask her mother what an ocean liner was.

Laura's son, Mayo Simon, had some touching things to say. He's an accomplished playwright from New York, who has written for Broadway and the movies. A guy at the party told me that Simon wrote Judy Garland's final movie, I Could Go On Singing. He also co-wrote the science-fiction film Westworld. I was curious if he was on the set with James Brolin and Yul Brynner or if the writer just turns in the script and is done with it, but I never got a chance to ask him that. I also would liked to have asked him if he was satisfied with how his film Marooned turned out, and what he thought of the late Gregory Peck's (a San Diegan) performance in it. (Marooned also starred Gene Hackman in one of his first roles.)

I wanted to discuss movies with Simon, but thought it might be tacky when the other guests were approaching him to tell him how lovely his mother was.

I also thought about discussing with him screenplays I've written, but remembered how I feel when people approach me at parties to pitch story ideas for the Reader . I decided against it. Besides, Simon's 100-year-old mother was shopping a book she wrote called I Am Still Here. I'm sure he would be more concerned with helping her find a publisher than pointing me in the right direction.

Laura's great-granddaughter got up and spoke. She flew in from art school in New York, and got teary eyed as she spoke, which had the rest of us in tears. There's an 80-year age difference between Laura and her.

Two high-school students were at the party to show a documentary that they made about Laura. It was fun listening to her talk about her life in it. Working at age 13, earning $6 a week; being married for 82 years. And to think, I got tired of my last girlfriend after a month!

The blonde neighbor who had approached me earlier at the party would occasionally smile at me or come over to make sure I was enjoying myself. When she told me she was from Jersey, I was surprised; I didn't notice an accent.

A rabbi talked and joked. I wondered why the rabbis and priests I've seen at weddings try to be funny. They rarely are. Yet everyone gives them courtesy laughs.

As I was leaving, Mrs. Harrison handed me her daughter's e-mail address. That was nice of her. I drove away wondering if I should e-mail Sandi to say hello, and how to do it without coming across as a pathetic ex-boyfriend pining for the past.

Crash your party? Call 619-235-3000 x421 and leave an invitation for Josh Board.

Sponsored
Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

Alison Tummond: preventing summer’s silent killer

“Anytime you have a pool, or a bathtub, or a toilet, or a bucket, a child can drown.”
Next Article

Thai Joints rule in the Heights

Pick up or delivery, Thai fans have it good on Adams Avenue
Comments
0

Be the first to leave a comment.

Sign in to comment

Sign in

Art Reviews — W.S. Di Piero's eye on exhibits Ask a Hipster — Advice you didn't know you needed Best Buys — San Diego shopping Big Screen — Movie commentary Blurt — Music's inside track Booze News — San Diego spirits City Lights — News and politics Classical Music — Immortal beauty Classifieds — Free and easy Cover Stories — Front-page features Excerpts — Literary and spiritual excerpts Famous Former Neighbors — Next-door celebs Feast! — Food & drink reviews Feature Stories — Local news & stories From the Archives — Spotlight on the past Golden Dreams — Talk of the town Here's the Deal — Chad Deal's watering holes Just Announced — The scoop on shows Letters — Our inbox [email protected] — Local movie buffs share favorites Movie Reviews — Our critics' picks and pans Musician Interviews — Up close with local artists Neighborhood News from Stringers — Hyperlocal news News Ticker — News & politics Obermeyer — San Diego politics illustrated Of Note — Concert picks Out & About — What's Happening Overheard in San Diego — Eavesdropping illustrated Poetry — The old and the new Pour Over — Grab a cup Reader Travel — Travel section built by travelers Reading — The hunt for intellectuals Roam-O-Rama — SoCal's best hiking/biking trails San Diego Beer News — Inside San Diego suds SD on the QT — Almost factual news Set 'em Up Joe — Bartenders' drink recipes Sheep and Goats — Places of worship Special Issues — The best of Sports — Athletics without gush Street Style — San Diego streets have style Suit Up — Fashion tips for dudes Theater Reviews — Local productions Theater antireviews — Narrow your search Tin Fork — Silver spoon alternative Under the Radar — Matt Potter's undercover work Unforgettable — Long-ago San Diego Unreal Estate — San Diego's priciest pads Waterfront — All things ocean Your Week — Daily event picks
4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
Close