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Offend in Every Way

"Parkway Plaza's slightly overzealous mall security apparently thinks there's something dangerous about guys handing out free CDs and flyers," says Duff-O-Cide bassist Jay Sassin. "We were giving out our Don't Munch a Duff EP, and there was no crowd, really. It was about 8:30 [p.m.], and we were walking around handing them out for about half an hour. When we stopped to get a drink of water, this security guard asked us if we worked at the mall, and we said 'no.' Then he asked if we were selling our CDs, and I said, 'No, they're free. Do you want one?' He snapped back with a 'no' and then radioed to what he called 'dispatch.'... We had to leave the property immediately. He walked behind us as we left, handing out a couple more demos before we got to the door."

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Duff-O-Cide is used to pissing people off, given that "Duff" stands for "Designated Ugly Fat Friend."

"By spreading awareness and educating the people of San Diego about this growing concern," reads their website, "the members of Duff-O-Cide hope to decrease the Duff-to-average-male hook-up ratio and eventually eliminate Duffs all together." One angry e-mail response to the posting read: "Your page is hateful and hurtful. Please take some time and really think about this.... Something tells me that you mean exactly what you say." Lyrics to the song "Don't Munch a Duff": "Designated ugly fat friend / your sexual fun has come to an end / Don't think of her as a lunchable / because a duff is not munchable."

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Semper WHY?

"Parkway Plaza's slightly overzealous mall security apparently thinks there's something dangerous about guys handing out free CDs and flyers," says Duff-O-Cide bassist Jay Sassin. "We were giving out our Don't Munch a Duff EP, and there was no crowd, really. It was about 8:30 [p.m.], and we were walking around handing them out for about half an hour. When we stopped to get a drink of water, this security guard asked us if we worked at the mall, and we said 'no.' Then he asked if we were selling our CDs, and I said, 'No, they're free. Do you want one?' He snapped back with a 'no' and then radioed to what he called 'dispatch.'... We had to leave the property immediately. He walked behind us as we left, handing out a couple more demos before we got to the door."

Sponsored
Sponsored

Duff-O-Cide is used to pissing people off, given that "Duff" stands for "Designated Ugly Fat Friend."

"By spreading awareness and educating the people of San Diego about this growing concern," reads their website, "the members of Duff-O-Cide hope to decrease the Duff-to-average-male hook-up ratio and eventually eliminate Duffs all together." One angry e-mail response to the posting read: "Your page is hateful and hurtful. Please take some time and really think about this.... Something tells me that you mean exactly what you say." Lyrics to the song "Don't Munch a Duff": "Designated ugly fat friend / your sexual fun has come to an end / Don't think of her as a lunchable / because a duff is not munchable."

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San Diego Reader 2024 Music & Arts Issue

Favorite fakers: Baby Bushka, Fleetwood Max, Electric Waste Band, Oceans, Geezer – plus upcoming tribute schedule
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4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
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