Groucho Marx in A Night at the Opera: Do they allow tipping on the boat? Steward: Oh, yes sir! Groucho: Have you got two fives?Steward: Yes, sir. Groucho: Well then, you won't need the ten …

What really puts the God in TGIF? Crappy jobs, of course. The Lowardaah...works in the shadow of sufferngaah...and the kingdom and the glory that is Far-Ry-Dayaah...would verily be cast down among those weepingaah and them …

It's Halloween night, and I live in a residential area. I'm sitting here in the dark. I can hear the little bastards outside, clamoring for candy. I've got a party to attend, and while I …

Has his sexism perhaps crossed over from fiction into reality?

Singer/guitarist Allen Camp says Misguided Children "spent a lot of time in a van eating peanut butter" in the late '80s, early '90s. The high point for his hardcore punk band was when Eddie Vedder …

"Kids spend a lot of time listening to the radio and DJs are considered role models, so it's a major issue when DJs flat-out promote marijuana use," says Dannah Hosford of the Youth Advocacy Coalition. …

Five years ago, Camp Pendleton "E" clubs (the E stands for enlisted) hosted civilian bands for the entertainment of U.S. Marines. The manager of one of those clubs, Tracer's, would book three punk bands on …

After four decades and 20 albums, Tom Waits, a 1968 graduate of Chula Vista's Hilltop High, is arguably the most substantial music figure to emerge from the San Diego area. Ever since the Eagles made …

"Some people tell me, 'No way I'm hanging out in a fag bar to see a punk rock show,' " says Davit Buck of the Homeless Sexuals, who appear at Hillcrest's Brass Rail tonight. "I …

The FCC ruled last week that KSDS/"Jazz 88" can increase its signal from 3,000 to 22,000 watts of power. KSDS general manager Mark DeBoskey says that by March his straight-ahead jazz station will be heard …

When Aerosmith appears at Coors Amphitheatre tonight, "under no circumstances will the purchase of alcoholic beverages be allowed as a show expense." They want the hospitality room stocked with chicken tikka pieces with yogurt and …

American Vulgar: The Politics of Manipulation Versus the Culture of Awareness WHAT THE PUBLISHER SAYS: Robert Grudin is what might be called a lyrical philosopher. From Time and the Art of Living (1982) to The …

Thirty Years Ago PERSONS WITH very large or very small heads needed for alpha wave study. Contact Basic Science Building, 3045, UCSD, La Jolla, 92093. State name, phone, head size. WERE YOU IN the Mayfair …

Anza-Borrego's Cougar Canyon is a place where new worlds open up at every turn. There are more gorgeous sights to see along a half-mile of this canyon than in a full day's hiking in most …

“No questions. No sermons. Always spaghetti and meatballs.”

It wasn't so much the 22 candles being lit for the High Mass celebrating All Saints' Day at All Saints' Episcopal Church; it was the guys lighting them: two strapping young Polynesians in floor-length black …

I have no recollection of the following incident, but my mom enjoys telling me about it often: When I was about two years old, my mother's African American friend Larry came into town to visit. …

As more of us work longer hours, increasing numbers of restaurants are ready to rescue us from our T-Day time-crunch by serving Thanksgiving Day dinner, either to eat-in or take home. To snag a table, …

There is always one moment in childhood when the door opens and lets the future in. -- Deepak Chopra Five bucks an hour was big money. It was couples' Bunco night -- I stood to …

"Oh, and pumpkin pie is out. This year, I want chocolate. Nothing but chocolate." Uncle Max is at it again, ruffling feathers throughout the Kelly family chicken coop. He does love to see the older …

Maun is in the north of Botswana and is the capital of Ngamiland. The last 500 kilometers of tarred road arrived in the early 1990s. It has a reputation of a frontier town and a …

In 2003 and 2004, as Helen Copley lay gravely ill, Copley Press hired the Washington, D.C., firm of Capitol Tax Partners to lobby for lower estate taxes. According to U.S. Senate disclosure records, the newspaper …

For two years, the stock of retailer Petco Animal Supplies has been a dog because management has been screwing the pooch. Since 2000, it has piled up debt so insiders could make fat and fast …

Every election season, my father sinks a wire-framed campaign sign into the strip of grass between his sidewalk and the street. Every election season, an unseen enemy steals it. Dad replaces the sign. The enemy …

Reno wrote his newest song, “I Still Love You, Pluto,” with his six-year-old daughter Mandy.

'When I listen to music, I pray about it and ask the Lord, 'Is this something You want me to do? Give me the steps to go along with it,'" says Steve Beard, director of …

The Saturday before Halloween, I had over 50 party invitations. Folks in Murrieta said they'd prepare a guest room for me. Another invite enticed me with strippers on stripper poles. I chose five parties to …

'The trick is to get the wines before they're trophies.'

Spot quiz. How many of the following names do you recognize? Suzy Kolber, Michele Tafoya, Andrea Kramer, Lisa Guerrero, Armen Keteyian, Colleen Dominguez, Jill Arrington, and Jeanne Zelasko. If you said "zero," you're a normal, …

Hey Matt: Why does it seem that my left nostril churns out more products (boogers) than my right? I know that people can be left or right handed, and some people are right-/left-eye dominant. Is …

Hey Matt: I got to do something to postpone my least favorite chore: mowing the damn lawn. And weeding, trimming, watering. And everything else that has to do with all that miserable vegetation around my …