Meanwhile, at the Urinal Cake Factory...

When Business Lady found the location of the first date on their first national tour -- a former urinal cake factory called the Bill Hicks Resurrection Laboratory in Houston, Texas -- they had a feeling something out of the ordinary might happen.

"It's a crazy post-apocalyptic compound, and everything's painted psychedelic," drummer Paul Morgan said after their welcome-home show on September 11 with xbxrx at the Che Café.

Vocalist Harp said, "We go on...[and] it's kinda weird, you know? People are, like, 'What the fuck?' We're kinda standing out. The singer of the band who played before us is standing up front. I kinda poked at him a little bit, i.e., I slapped him. There was no reaction at first. I went for him again and I rubbed his face in a circular motion and pulled his nose toward me. At this point he starts doing that thing where he's throwing his arms up, like, 'What? WHAT?' I go away and we play some songs. I come back to him and I go to hit him and he jerks away. I'm, like, 'What? What's the matter?' I read his lips because I can't hear him and he's, like, 'You hit me.' I said, 'It's okay. It's a punk show' to defuse the situation. I didn't want to bum anyone out. He was kinda being dumb. I didn't think it was that bad: 'I'm sorry I pulled your nose, little guy.'"

The two continued to bicker. The red-haired Texan felt the need to defend his honor.

"Something happens, and I look behind me," Harp continued. "The guy who lives there who set up the show, he's got his long hair out of his pony tail, and he's running with his hair flowing behind him, no shirt on; he even has a tattoo of the word 'Lust' on his back. He has, above his head, in his hands, a fucking TV set. I'm just watching as he throws it at the kid's feet. TV sets EXPLODE when they break... The kid disappears.... Everyone was, like, 'Yeah! That's all we needed!'"

Harp crawled through the glass, bloodying his costume so badly that people who live there offered him the use of their shower. When he got out, the police had arrived and arrested the guy who threw the TV. Bassist Tara Branidenetti joked that the red-haired rebel had called the cops with a noise complaint. Turns out she was right.

"That kid is ejected from punk," Harp said. The rest of the tour went okay from there: Harp broke his nose while head-butting a friend of his in Baltimore, the band played to five San Diegans (and no one else) in New York City, and guitarist Tobyn McCormick set off a fair share of fireworks nationwide.