Dateless Loser No Blue Man

Tim Curns, one half of the Dateless Losers (with Gabriel Lander), was recently flown out to New York to audition for a slot in the Blue Man franchise. "I sent in my résumé," says Tim, "and the next day they called me up to L.A. for an audition. Since they didn't want me to have to go all the way back up again, I also had my callback the same day."

The next phase was a more intensive audition in front of directors, producers, and original Blue Man members in New York. "They flew me out, put me in a hotel, paid me $100 a day. There were five other guys." The audition consisted of drumming and acting. As an actor in the San Diego theater scene, Tim had an edge on the other musicians.

He was sent back home to Pacific Beach. "I still have the photos of me in the whole Blue Man makeup and costume, but I don't look at them because they make me mad," he says. "One day, the Dateless Losers will challenge the Blue Men to a rock out, and we're gonna rock them out of the house."

San Diegans can catch the Dateless Losers doing regular gigs at 'Canes and the Sandbar. "But we'll play anywhere."

TRICKIEST PROBLEM PLAYING LIVE?

Tim: "Having to mop the floors after everyone goes home."

Gabe: "I sweat a hell of a lot, and with all the head-banging, it gets into my eyes. Then my eyes burn. Burn like the dickens."

INSTRUMENTS USED?

Gabe: "I've got a Taylor acoustic. I don't know the specifics and I don't care. It's beautiful and sounds totally kick-ass. I paid a lot for it, so it damn well better."

Tim: "I use Gabe's acoustic/electric Washburn. I've dropped it many times."

BEST GIG?

Tim: "Best gig ever was the one where there was a girl watching. Also, at Dream Street, this heavy metal band had seen us play and wanted us to play short sets in between various heavy metal bands playing there."

Gabe: "The one that we played with Sepultura and Deicide at a place down south called The Gates of Peril. There was fire and brimstone and heavy metal everywhere. And lots of hot chicks. Hot demon chicks. It was the best show ever...until I woke up."

WORST GIG?

Gabe: "When we were first starting out we played at an open mic where Tim and I both had to share one microphone. We had to sit so close, we both forgot all the words to our songs. By the end of the most awful set ever, Tim was covered in my spit and our sense of dignity was utterly flattened. Luckily there were only, like, three people in the audience. And they weren't paying attention."

Tim: "The worst gig was when some dude mooned us, spat at us, and then wanted to fight us because we dedicated 'The Vagina Song' to him. Wait, that should be our best gig."

BRUSH WITH THE FAMOUS?

Tim: "We met Mike Patton (from Faith No More) once. It was awkward. We also met Kyle from Tenacious D. I wish we had eaten lots of food with him."

Gabe: "Tim and I met Carson Daly at Woodstock '99. Tim was gushing like a little teenie-bopper schoolgirl, got his autograph, and talked about boy bands. Sometimes I wonder about him."

TOP FIVE END-OF-THE-WORLD CDs?

Tim:

1. Faith No More's Greatest Hits. "Best band ever made."

2. Megadeth's Rust in Peace. "Have you heard 'Holy Wars?'"

3. Radiohead's Hail to the Thief. "For when the aliens come..."

4. Billy Joel's Greatest Hits, Volume 1 and II. "Double CD, maximum benefit...oh, and 'Uptown Girl.'"

5. Manowar's Warriors of the World. "Comedic gold."

Gabe:

1. Jimmy Buffett's Changes in Latitudes, Changes in Attitudes. "I can't stand him, but at least this way I could just pretend that I was on vacation in the Bahamas somewhere."

2. Geggy Tah's Into the Oh. "Quirky, weird, and awesomely jazzy melodies to keep my mind off of eating my own leg."

3. Lovage's Music To Make Love To Your Old Lady By. "For those lonely nights in the lean-to."

4. Si*Sé (self-titled). "I think the singer's into chicks, but she could still be my imaginary girlfriend."

5. Metallica's "Black Album." "Rock out."