What's in Bush's wallet?

Heymatt:

Do you think the president carries a wallet? I can't imagine he ever has to pull out a credit card or cash or flash his drivers license.

-- Wondering, the net

Not even Grandma Alice, notorious for her good looks, charm, and generosity with homemade Boston cream pie, could coax your answer from the White House. At least not within an acceptable time frame. Perhaps she should not have worded her correspondence, "Is that a wallet in your pocket, or did you just find a weapon of mass destruction?" We've gleaned what we can from other sources, tried imagining what would be in Dubya's wallet in the first place (pictures of Barney? his "President of the U.S." ID card for international conferences? an old condom? No, sorry. Clinton, not Dubya on that last one); then we speculated about what he'd need to pay for. We come up with a big no; why in the world would the president need a wallet? Anything official is already paid for, for both the prez and his entourage. Any personal trinkets he and Laura might want to buy on one of his meet-and-greets in the hinterlands can't lawfully be charged to the government; but if the vendor insists on being paid for the "Souvenir of Billings, Montana" snow globe, some personal aide or traveling secretary would take care of it. They're paid to keep life's trivia from cluttering up the presidential mind so Dubya can be free to think deeply and philosophically on the bigger issues.