Chucking wood, sucking sap, hatching nuts...

Matt and Alice:

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

-- Wondering, San Diego

Lots. And so, Wondering, how much ground would a groundhog hog if a groundhog could hog ground? (Before you answer, remember the groundhog and the woodchuck are the same animal.) And how much sap would a sapsucker suck if a sapsucker could suck sap? Oh, wait a minute. A sapsucker can suck sap-- on a good day, maybe two or three ounces.) And how many nuts would a nuthatch hatch if a....