Somebody’s got his Mormons mixed up

Dear Straight: We've got a bet going around our office that Steve Young was married to Marie Osmond for a short time. Could you please confirm this? — Ken, San Diego

No can do, Ken. Somebody’s got his Mormons mixed up. Besides, I think it’s illegal for two people with so many teeth to get hitched. Ms. Osmond is not now and never has been Mrs. Steve Young (ex-BYU football star; direct descendent of Brigham Young; stomped on the Chargers in the Super Bowl). From 1982 to 1985, Marie Osmond was Mrs. Steve Craig, ex-BYU basketball star and BYU JV basketball coach.

But Marie does know Steve Young. She was so darned mopey after the bust-up with Craig that her brothers asked Young to take her out and cheer her up. He offered to take Marie to a basketball game. (Smooth move, Steve.) Under the circumstances, Marie said, she’d really rather go bowling. They went bowling. End of story. Except for the inevitable headlines in the National Enquirer the following week, predicting the Young-Osmond nuptials. In ’86 Marie married some record exec. Do you suppose she still has the receipt for her bowling shoes pasted in her scrapbook?