The gooey, dramatic John Tesh

Matt: Okay, what's the deal with John Tesh? Why would they pick him to do commentary for Olympic gymnastics? Does he know anything about the sport? Any sport? He's been the topic of discussion for days in the office. — Irritated, San Diego

The phenomenon that is Tesh began his spiritual journey as a CBS network sports reporter from 1981 to ’85, though he was no specialist in gymnastics. He lettered in soccer, lacrosse, and track in high school, for what that’s worth. But now that the Olympic Games are just one more television product, milking the patriotism-and-pathos udder of the broadcasting cash cow, his gooey, dramatic style and name recognition probably count for more. Good accompaniment to all those claustrophobic zoom shots of eyeballs and sweat.

And what’s a contemporary icon without a Web site? Satisfy your Tesh obsesh here, where you can “feel like a real roadie” with a Tesh cap or Tesh jacket from the “Tesh Merchandise” link. He’ll serenade you at “Tesh-Tunes” if you have a zippy modem and the proper shareware. Send gushy e-mail at “Tesh-Talk.” “Tesh-Tour” is his concert schedule. Reveal how Tesh music has changed your life and you could win free tickets. If they’re for Anaheim Stadium and you happen to live in Boca Raton, well, that’s your problem, they say. A true Teshie would make the trip. Live mellow and prosper.