Why 7-11s need padlocks

If a 7-Eleven is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks.on the doors? And if you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen? — David, San Diego

Fresh out of cats, I recruit one from the neighbors. The normally lumpish tabby knows something is up when I approach with string and bread. (Research note: It takes ten minutes for two adults to lure a spooked cat from under a bed.) After much ear-scratching and reassuring baby talk, toast (butter-side up) and tabby (purring) are united, back to back. String at the ready, I attempt a quick wraparound and a flourishing sheepshank, before kitty knows what hit her. (Note: TRIM CLAWS FIRST!) Cat boogies. Toast, goes flying. (Note: Extract butter from shag with paper towels. Dab on detergent. Don’t rub.) Seeking Band-Aids, I head for a 7-Eleven. According to the manager, 7-Elevens need locks in case of power failures and to close up shop to take inventory after a robbery. Otherwise, they’re like toast on a cat. Useless.