The mysterious Montreal Expos logo

Dear Omniscient One: I’ve asked all my buddies. Nobody knows. So you’re my last resort before I just accept it as one of those unknown mysteries that forever go unexplained. Please end my befuddlement. What in the bejeezus is the Montreal Expos’ logo? It resembles “elb,” sort of. — Rob Larkins, San Diego

Oh-ho, a grand mee-stair-ee, you say, monsieur? A bee-foodle-mont? Your brains eet ees speening like zee curve ball, yes? Ah, mon ami, eet ees to laugh. We are laughing, ha-ha, up here een Mohn-ray-ahl. Also we sneer because we are French an’ you are not.

You ask about zee logo, what you call “e-l-b.” Well, my fren’, try thees easy theeng, eh? (Easy for us, we are French. Perhaps not easy for you.) Find zee pencil. You can do that, yes? Draw zee line from zee bottom curve of e. Connect eet to zee top of l. You are following me, yes? Now, draw zee straight line down over I until you are reaching zee bottom. Now you are drawing a line to zee top of b and then down to zee bottom curve of b. Voila! Eet ees before your eyes, you peasant. Eet ees zee M. Zee letter M! For Mohn-ray-ahl! For Magnifique! For Maybe we play baze-bol in ’95, maybe not. M for Mon dieu, zee not-French zey are cray-zee, yes!

So you mock zee logo of les Expos, eh? And what of yours, mon ami — a lee-tle fat bald man een zee ugly brown dress? And zee Angels of Gene Autry — a radio trans-meet-air tower and hula hoop? Hah! Do not wonder why we want our own country.