Dave Rice 11:30 a.m., Dec. 9
"OOOOOHHH...It's Halloween!" --King Diamond, from "Halloween" on FATAL PORTRAIT.
Hey, folks...I'm back!
On Saturday, we celebrate All Hallow's Eve, aka Halloween. This night is every kid's fantasy (dress up in a costume, get free stuff from your neighbors), every dentist's nightmare (all those cavities from the ingested candy), and every killjoy's bete noir ("Satanic" Overtones of said night being celebrated).
We have jack o'lanterns on our porches (useful targets of punks with Louisville Sluggers), kind folks with bowls of sweetmeats to hand out (and to be ingested only after taking the haul to the ER for an x-ray check), scary movies on the tube ("It's Time...For Freddy!"--and fresh underwear after each showing), and front yards ripe for TP'ing (notice how much Charmin gets sold before All Hallow's Eve?).
We have folks in costume out for holiday schwag (be it candy--or the cash and credit cards in your wallet), adults celebrating at their favorite watering hole (and the local cops setting up DUI checkpoints in town to catch some of them), and bonfires burning well into the night (some set with gasoline and a box of matches, with an old house (or a convienent Hummer) providing the fuel).
Sometimes, you have to wonder what is much more frightening...Frankie, Drac, Freddy, Doc Lecter, Jason--or some of those who "celebrate" All Hallow's Eve by acting more monsterous than the monsters we are celebrating on that night?
From poison-and-steel in goodies to be given to the kiddies (a man was executed in Texas for poisoning his son's Halloween candy--and the kid--to collect insurance money), to robbery, vandalism, driving while wasted, all forms of assault, and even outright homicide? Yeah, we really don't need Freddy, Wolfie, Pinhead, or Hannibal The Cannibal to frighten the cheese out of us on screen...not while real monsters exist just outside our doors!
Still, there is no real reason to ban Halloween, as some folks who have Satan-On-The-Brain suggest year-after-year. For just as the next day (November 1) is All Saints Day, so All Hallow's Eve is our night to let the inner dark in each of us safely be relaxed and celebrated.
For me, however, I have no plan on being here to hand out treats to the kiddies here at Vista Ranch. I'm headed out to a party at Smitty's, and gonna party sober! After I get back, I'll flip on the 'Net to see how much damage the real-life monsters did on a night dedicated to the monsters that haunt our dreams...and stay there!
Top Ten Halloween Songs (Modern Era):
10: "Thing That Should No Be"--Metallica 09: "Tubular Bells"--Them From "The Exorcist" 08. "Bark At The Moon"--Ozzy Osbourne 07: "Heaven Is Hell"--Accept 06: "Hell"--Squirrel Nut Zippers 05: "Nightcrawler"--Judas Priest 04: "Theme From 'A Nighmare Before Christmas.'" 03: "The Number Of The Beast"--Iron Maiden 02: "Seasons In The Abyss"--Slayer 01: "Theme From 'Halloween'"--John Capenter.
("Monster Mash" isn't from the modern rock era, btw...but I still like it.) --RKJ