Matthew Suárez 4:30 p.m., Oct. 13
- Community Blog
People may wonder why I named my blog "The Vortex." It's not that so much happens here; rather, it is the focal point of my universe, my own little space on the planet. It is my life. Now, do we really want to hear what is going on in my immediate surroundings, or do we want to hear what is going on in "my world?"
If I told you some of what goes on around me & my house, it might prove to be too personal...some of it, clearly, is drama: that buzz word of the 2000's that everyone seems enamored with. I remember doing the internet dating thing before, and if I had read the phrase "no drama" one more time I was going to puke and throw something across the room at the same time. What is life, if not drama, I ask you? Not that negativity is a good thing, but to pretend it doesn't exist or to purposefully avoid it for the sake of faking that life is beautiful all the time is just folly in my book...oh, but that's another topic in and of itself. Danger, danger!
So this being unemployed thing really upsets the already minimal amount of structure I had in my life. I stay up too late, sleep in too late, miss early commitments like my Tai Chi class this morning. I'm spending way too much time in my head, and way too little time rebuilding my life such as it used to be before the Grand Yanking of The Rug Out From Under Me that ocurred in March/April. Miles from The Rock Church says that sometimes God just wants to scrub your life clean so you can start over. Hmm. I do believe that is what has happened to mine. So what to do from here? Working several different angles on this, one being to write a blog. Well, why not? And me not even being sure what one is, what "blogging" as a verb means to me.
I could tell you about some of my neighbors. (Wondering if they may take any offense at it...) I've always referred to my next door neighbors as "The Perfects." Hopefully, if they may accidentally stumble across my humble blog, they wouldn't take the moniker in a bad way. Am I envious of them? Possibly, for what they portray on the outside is what I've desired for myself, and how I've believed a good, happy life would "look." Now, I've heard I shouldn't "compare my insides to someone else's outsides," but I've always been swayed by someone's outsides appearing as what I'd want my insides to look and feel like. Does that make sense? Their outsides are as neat as a pin! Not too fancy, not run-down. Green lawn, flowers along the edges, cheery flags celebrating any and every miscellaneous day of the calendar. They have beautiful, well mannered offspring, seem to spend every weekend together, have barbeques regularly, and I've never known anyone to wash ALL of their vehicles EVERY weekend. (And sometimes during the week!) There's never any fighting heard, nor any drama evident coming from their side of the property line... ahh, that word again...could it be that I, too, am affected by this concept of life's angst? Let's just say that these people's lives seem, in my limited perspective, nearly perfect. At least on their outsides.