William Stanney, OFM 11 p.m., Dec. 17
- Community Blog
pizza binge causes conjunctivitis and respiratory failure in dogs
I woke up late this morning, enclosed in a cheesy dream of last nights pizza pie and edamame. My left eye swollen shut and scratchy. No weigh in this day, up and at em, dogs in the car, heading for Quick Fix for a latte and muffin. Wazzup he said. wearing my very expensive and horribly uncomfortable Sunnies- polarized to hide the swollen lid. Pretty pink he said, go to CVS. My doc- the 17 year old coffee guy.
The pharmacist "boy oh boy, that's pink. Drive to our Minute Clinic in Solana Beach. What? I'm not driving 10 miles 1 way for a swollen eye. My only plans were wine and the Kings Speech in Tierrasanta last eve- surely there's something over the counter? The ladies glanced at each other. Minute clinic.
Back in the car. Two right turns and a left, and score a spot at Rancho Coastal Critter's Corner. Should I drive to KP's San Marcos intermediate care? Sipping on my latte, I grab the doggie bags and my phone and leap out of the car, flipping the lock on the door.
Oh shit. Oh shit. I left my latte AND my car keys inside. All the windows and doors closed up tight. Not a crack. Oh shit, it's hot today, and I've also locked my puppies in the car, no air, windows and doors locked. No glasses either, except my non-rx fancy sunglasses, my iPhone and 2 doggie bags.
Call Geico roadside service- get a live person in seconds. 10 pts.
Explain my situation- give him my cell number- no match. Holy crxxp. Try again, my old landline! Winner. Where are you he ask?
At the Rancho Coastal Humane Society. Are you safe- do you require medical treatment? Well my eye is swollen, and my dogs can't breathe but nope- not yet. I hold, he calls the tow company comes back on the line. They'll be there in 45 minutes he says. 45 MINUTES??? My dogs will be in respiratory failure or dead by then.
He says "Do you want me to call the police?" Yes sir, back on hold. he's back again "the sheriffs won't come out for animals anymore". I'm sweating now. WTF! My dogs will die- all because of my scratchy eye and my idiocy.
Wait, he says, want me to call the fire department. Yes, I said, back on hold. "........................."......
They'll be right there he said, but if not here's the tow info again. I can't see my glasses are in the car, that doesn't help. Who is on the way? The tow company or the fire guys? (Writers note- please forget the fact that I have an iphone so i don't need something to write with- that slows down the story and makes me look even more dingy)
In just a few seconds I see the full- on- fire- truck hesitating at the entrance to the lot, lights flashing, whirling- no sirens. I wave them over, head up, eyes down.
Just a few seconds ago a blonde lady in a sparkley top and her two daughters got back in their car after looking at the dogs or cats inside.
The fire engine drove up, and 3 handsome guys- two young ins and a juicy guy a little older lept to the ground and prepared for the assault on the rogue Mitsubishi.
I don't care if you break the window I said, Oh we won't do that.. The sparkley mom is now stuck in her parking space because of my stupidity. A guy walks by -Locked my dogs in the car I say guiltily. He shakes his head at me (I can see what he's thinking) And now I've got the emergency guys doing this (BLESS THEIR HEARTS!!)
In moments the dogs were free, my latte was saved- but a little cold- :) and the nice firemen were on their way. Moonlight Station 1- hoorah!
The dogs jumped out, and trotted me back to the dog park, where both of them ran with abandon, chased balls, sniffed, got petted, leapt in the air with joy. And rolled and wriggled on a patch of grass where something fragrant was hiding, over and over again. Time to go, we headed back out the gate- depositing $20 in the voluntary donor box since I haven't donated the last few times- and back into the car. Perhaps the rolling dogs had something to do with the eye infection?
My eye is still disgusting. It's about noon now, and I really have no plans to speak of, so i drop the dogs off at home to rest and head to intermediate care in San Marcos.
Got a spend $25 get a $10 gift card from PetSmart so i'll stop on the way home and get some "pupcorn" for the pups. This is styrofoam like, cheeto-colored little doggie treats in cheese and bacon flavor, and it drives my dogs insane. We haven't had it for a while, so they will be thrilled.
I park the car at Kaiser and walk in. Not too crowded- couple girls with leg injuries - soccer I'm betting- an older woman with a towel covering her face moaning, and getting ready to throw up, wheeled by her husband who is so upset he can't find her card in her wallet. Shouldn't be long, not many people here.
The doc was a young guy, told him I sleep with dogs, told me to avoid public pools and hot tubs, to wash my hands more after playing with the dogs (gulp) - and how "Three Dog Night" got their name. (Remembered the story the minute it came out of his mouth)
Took a look, put some black light stuff in my eyes (I asked him if you could buy this over the counter, would be fun to pop some in and go to the movies to freak people out) and confirmed just an infection, no detached retina or other scary sort of stuff. Prescribed antibiotic ointment, 4 x day pull out the lower lid and load it up. Yuch. Pop the sunglasses back on, and back out the door after a half hour or so in the pharmacy, which was jammed.
Not really in the mood for the market, so i just drive down the long windy road to Petsmart, pick up the pupcorn, some veggie bones, and some itch free dog food, and head to the checkout.
I pull up my email coupon to show the cashier, and then I notice it is good at petsmart.com NOT in the store. Perfect. I apologize - the cashier says no worries, maybe we can get the $10 off anyway- We call the manager (am I high maintenance or what today!) and he says sorry, not in store.
I drop my handbag, coins roll all over the place (this is so not my day) and so I pay, apologizing to the people behind me and drive home.
Of course I'm starving by now, only a muffin and a cold latte this morning, so I hit the fridge and eat about 12 Chuao seashells before I notice they aren't the good for you dark chocolate kind, but the I remember when I was a kid and I ate milk chocolate kind. Time for the ointment, in the left eye, and plop on the chair, to watch 3 DVRd episodes of House. Think i'm through for the day.
I blame the pizza. It was in a box too big for the oven, we had a cheese one and a pepperoni one. I had four slices. Four. Was it worth it? Heck yes. No one died !