4:32 a.m., May 22
It was a great talk, a great performance. What did you say or do yesterday to contribute to your own happiness? I tweeted about it, I woke up thinking about it, and I pondered its significance while walking the dogs the next day at 5:00am. I focused on it as I reviewed my story starts, and wrote another page, another step into one or two. I kept it in my mind as I stepped across the filth in the gutter and dodged the gravel on my way home.
I noticed the young ivy vines climbing towards the sum, a more vibrant electric green standing straight up above the dust entombed leaves of springtime beginning their descent into mulch. And then the voices started- pounding down the hallway, screaming through the wall, emails pouring into inboxes with words of apology without teeth.
I closed the door; I concentrated on taking care of the tasks I needed to accomplish or move.. He said if someone is driving you crazy, it’s you in the driver’s seat, get out of the car, start again. Don’t pick them up, leave them behind, and start anew- again, and again and again.
What did I do today to make my life better, happier, sweeter, nicer? What will I do next to enhance my skills, my understanding, and my joy? Why do I allow myself to get riled up over and over again by the same situation, the same people, the things I can’t change, I have no control over.
They say awareness is half the battle but, yes please, I get it. I’m ready to collect the spoils of this lifetime, to celebrate freedom from narcissists and bullies and fools. I’m awfully impatient I know, but it’s time, really.