Dorian Hargrove 12:47 p.m., May 19
Occasionally, when having Difficutlties at my Lackluster but otherwise Uninteresting job I may (on occasion) become Grouchy
Third-Place Winner of the September 2009 Neighborhood Blog Contest!
Unforeseen Benefit of keeping up this Blog It is hot outside and I am inside where it is (slightly) cooler. Since I am producing something--instead of the pre-blog days of just looking at craigslist for the sheer joy of the thing--I do not feel like I am wasting my days hiding from the sun.
As far as today's Runner-Up goes, I have this to say: Oh, snap! Somebody bought Lavendar (sic) file folders and then decided it would be a terrible idea to file everything in light purple. Live and learn, eh?
Narrowly edging out the ample and spirited competition for today's big Best Of win:
As far as common internetiquette goes, this poster is basically screaming at us in a foreign language. I'm continually baffled as to why such an extraordinary number of people feel compelled to TYPE EVERYTHING IN ALL CAPITAL LETTERS WITH LITTLE REGARD TO PUNCTUATION GRAMMAR OR SPELLING. Frankly, I am shocked that there are people living in 2009 who think it's even a remotely valid notion to type everything with caps lock on. Why do this? I swear, this looks like it's the first encounter the poster every had with a keyboard, much less a computer. It was kind of hilarious (sort of) in 1993 when your grandmother was using the computer down at the public library to send emails and they came out looking like they were typeset by the blind. Although, in reality, the blind probably make phenomenal typesetters. Regardless, someone posting an ad for sexy costumes is (probably) young enough to have adequate experience with the internet that she (though 'he' would certainly be more interesting...) knows enough not to type in all caps.
Speaking of the sexy nature of the costumes in question, I am terribly curious to know what kind of use these were put to. Is this some sort of exotic dancer situation? Maybe (s)he's just crazy about Halloween? I don't know. This is what really piques my curiosity though:
"I ACCEP (sic) TRADES LET ME KNOW WHAT U HAVE ;)"
I feel strangely solicited by this. What happens if I respond saying, "I will spank you, fiercely, in exchange for those costumes?" Would that possibly be an acceptable trade? Is that the kind of "WHAT U HAVE ;)" in question? I shudder to think, but my extremely overactive imagination can't help but dwell, and deeply, on the strangeness contained in that poorly punctuated, misspelled, and be-winky-faced line. Perhaps I am supposed to offer drugs in exchange for "THISSS COSTUMES" and the winky face is there to let me know that, yes, while we will be engaged in illegal activities (viz. the trading of narcotics), it will all be done on the sly and I can rest assured that no one will be the wiser. Again, I sincerely hope this is not the case. With such a narrow band of information to play with, however, we are forced to fill in all the gaps, background, and extraneous details of a craigslist ad. I read these things and sometimes I invent sordid histories of murder and infidelity to explain an innocent yard sale. Other times, I see love and affection in a set of cassette tapes (see previous post). It's the beauty of the advertisements that, in order to get closure of information, we have to be imaginative.
Now I'm wicked creeped out, which is sort of awful.