Matt Potter 7 a.m., Dec. 11
An Almost Existential Love And Valuing
Right to the Runner-Up:
Any takers? Going once...going twice...sold to * for }!>'
Big, bad voodoo working Best of the Best for 10/30:
Best show ever? Obvi. Not even a matter of debate.1
I do have trouble understanding the motivation behind "collecting." Especially collecting without the intention of using. I mean, rationally, I can understand the arguments in favor of the practice, it just completely fails to flip my switches.2 For me, toys are supposed to be played, so whatever satisfaction could come from getting a toy and leaving it in the box could never equal the guaranteed fun of opening that sucker up and using it for the end towards which all toys are designed: staging strange melodramas complete with rudimentary sound effects.3
I suppose collecting stems from a love of things. That sounds a bit shallow, I realize, but I mean it in more of an...elegant fashion. The idea is a love of things, as such, as invested with some sort of special thing-ness which makes them unique and different from other things. An almost existential love and valuing of stuff. If that is the case, I actually agree with the sentiment, just not its expression. I see how things can be wonderful, but the only way I can see to express that is by using those things and allowing that wonderfulness to escape, to not remain trapped within the thing. Imagine, if you will, an egg.4 Now, the egg is an amazing little bio-architectural marvel, a hermetically sealed miniature fortress capable of supporting great loads and sustaining life. But all the real magic of an egg--meringues, souffles, fried-egg sandwiches5--is contained within the egg, hidden until the egg is put to use. A collector might amass an impressive army of chicken seeds, but in the long run he has nothing to show for it besides rotten eggs.
If I may veer wildly off towards left field here, it's worth mentioning that my feelings on collecting are eerily mirrored by my feelings on vegetarianism; another thing I don't "get" in an emotional sense. Once again, I can see the validity of any and all arguments for or against eating meat.6 Environmental, moral, religious, fashionable, et. al. At this point in my life, I don't bear any ill will towards those who willingly alter their diets, cutting out certain foods or sets thereof.7 For myself, however, there is just no hypothetical situation in which I could put any moral imperative, or what have you, above sensory experience. It's just a matter of priorities.
Tenuous as the link between Buffy dolls and chewing on a raw steak may be, I think there's really one kernel of knowledge to be gleaned from the preceding examination:
Seriously. I do not want to have this discussion. Deciding whether or not a given TV show "is awesome" or "sucks" is, like, the biggest waste of our collective time imaginable. Anytime I find myself bickering with someone over, say, whether House is better than Grey's Anatomy (the correct answer is House, also not open for debate), I take that as a sort of mental check that I should find something to do that has a point. Justifying personal preferences doesn't even have academic value anymore, unless you still practice canon worship and the whole point of everything is identifying who has the best taste.
To coin a phrase. I was going to go with "push my buttons," but the connotations of being manipulated into anger that come along with that particular phrase are too strong. I'm hoping that "flip my switches" carries just the right degree of "turning on" to differentiate it from other, equally applicable phrases such as "rocks my cradle."
With enough toys, I could prolly stage a YouTube version of my opera.
Sometimes I like to think of eggs as "chicken seeds" and seeds as "plant eggs." I don't know why.
Included for their supernatural ability to cure hangovers; especially when crafted from very soft, toasted bread and gooey cheese.
Spend a lifetime in the restaurant industry and you'll hear them all. Usually at great length.
I shouldn't even single out vegetarianism here, to be perfectly honest. People are always inventing some new trend which limits or alters their dietary intake. Some of them can be incredibly interesting.
Having spent my time getting to this point, it seems like now would be a perfect time to get into the significance of such a little statement. It would seem that way, at least....