Happy Sunday! Worked all day and then got to craigin.' Found a pretty sweet Runner-Up right away: SWINE FLU Vaccine Not Needed- Safe Alternative! - $20 (Normal Heights). How terrible is it that the wonder drug proves itself during "the field tests in Africa?" Sheesh. Tuskegee, anyone? Also, in case you were wondering, the active ingredient (Chlorine Dioxide) is basically bleach. A bargain at twenty bones.

The big winner for the day, however, is:

Lots of nice, new Rulers (Normal Heights)

Know fear, Fearless Leader! Your days of iron-fisted overlordship are drawing swiftly to a close. No longer shall we be bound by your oppressive injunctions against standardized measurements! When we have installed the nice, new rulers we will be able to choose freely between inches and centimeters. The era of the Fearless Leader Unit (18 FLUs to a Dictator, 6.5 Dictators to a Great and Powerful Nation) is coming to an end--never again will we be subject to a standard unit unrecognized by the rest of the world!

We have demanded color options for too long, Fearless Leader, and our pleas have fallen on deaf ears. Soon, the choice between Red and Blue will be before us and we will revel in that choice! Half shall be Red and half shall be Blue. That, Fearless Leader, is the essence of true freedom!

And don't think, Fearless Leader, don't think for a second that our nice, new Rulers will be sub-standard! We will not settle for the little, cheap, flimsy Rulers. The days of half-dollar rule are over once and for all in this land. Our nice, new Rulers will be "the kind that normally go for a dollar or two!"

You have had your day in the sun, Fearless Leader. True, we worshiped your visage, exalted the ground upon which your mighty footsteps trod, raised monuments to your glory, and bowed before your awesome might. But that was then, Fearless Leader, and this is now. Our nice, new Rulers are coming and it will be a brand new day.

Comments

CuddleFish Oct. 18, 2009 @ 10:55 p.m.

We may need some of those rulers over on the Joke thread!!!

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FullFlavorPike Oct. 18, 2009 @ 10:57 p.m.

Things been out of hand? I've been away. Funny story: I don't actually have my own computer, I kind of borrow one. If my timing's off, I sometimes don't have access to the interwebs (hence no blogs yesterday). As it is, I am waaaaay behind on everybody's blogging. Sigh. Catchup day tomorrow.

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SDaniels Oct. 19, 2009 @ 12:49 a.m.

“The answer to AIDS, hepatitis A, B and C, malaria, herpes, TB, most cancer and many more of mankind's worse diseases has been found. Many diseases are now easily controlled. More than 75,000 disease victims have been included in the field tests in Africa. Scientific clinical trials have been conducted in a prison in the country of Malawi, East Africa."

Wow! (DR?) Jim Humble, inventor of MMS, is really onto something here, ya think? I've got a bag of TB syringes and a gallon of bleach under the sink. What else do I need, Mr. Humble? Some emu oil perhaps? Would blood orange-infused avocado oil work instead? Should we work a little babypowder into it, and make a paste? Then add the bleach? Sure. I understand. It's better if I buy it from your reputable company. After all, studies conducted in a prison in Malawi must have been scientifically AND ethically sound...

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FullFlavorPike Oct. 19, 2009 @ 7:40 a.m.

"I've got a bag of TB syringes and a gallon of bleach under the sink."

Hahahaha! Dr. Daniels to the rescue.

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FullFlavorPike Oct. 20, 2009 @ 12:49 a.m.

I'm a bit shocked that nobody went Bullwinkle crazy here....

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