First off: Check it out! I suppose I sort of owe this tramp a holler for all the good she did me in September!

Now that that's out of the way, I'll throw a Runner-Up out there that we might all have a gander and collectively say, "ewww! Gross!" Aged, stained, holey mattress. Exactly what I want to rest my vulnerable skin on every night.

Moving away from the weird and disgusting (and more towards the just plain lazy), I present the afternoon's big winner:

Got MP3s of R&B, old school rap? (Normal Heights)

Got one thing to say to this guy:

Really?

This guy has been posting the same ad since before I started maintaining this blog. He posts it every day or damn close to it. So, guy, really? You really want to spend every single day posting an ad on craigslist asking people to give you free music, rather than just going out and stealing the music off the interwebs like we all do? Really? You really think your saving time? You think it wouldn't be faster and easier for you to just download a BitTorrent client, hit up mininova.com, and get all the old skool hip-hop'n'B you could possibly, ever want? You can download so much music off the internet that you'll never--not in decade--have the time to give it all a good listen.

Really, guy? Really?

You really think someone wants to go out of his way to hook you up with free music because you're too cheap and lazy to do it yourself? You paid hundreds of dollars for a phone, how about paying tens of dollars for some iTunes? You really think that any self-respecting software pirate wants to cut you in on his (unconstitutionally) illegal activites?1 Really?

Do you really think that commanding potential benefactors to email you is the best way to get a handout? Do you really think that people will be inclined towards giving you things with nary a "please" in sight? Do you really think that implying a quid pro quo arrangement with a totally ambiguous quo is the fastest, fairest, and most effective way to set up an exchange?

Really? Really?

1. As far as the debate behind "illegal" file sharing goes, it's clear to me that media should travel freely between users. They should not be using p2p file sharing to turn a profit, however. In fact, the very essence of file sharing and free media distribution is potentially able to liberate art and media from the constricting yoke of profiteering. The idea that artistic expression should have as its end result the maximum financial return to parties other than the artist is absolutely ludicrous and holds us back from exploring the innovative art forms which are freshly opened to us by emergent technologies. Instead of following the precedent set in the analog era of (relatively) free artistic distribution, the digital revolution has been monopolized by and restricted to the space of capital. What could be revolutionary is instead turned oppressive.

Comments

SDaniels Oct. 8, 2009 @ 4:39 p.m.

"I suppose I sort of owe this tramp a holler for all the good she did me in September!"

Deux trampes.

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SDaniels Oct. 8, 2009 @ 4:41 p.m.

Ya need to let us smokers step up and take a looksee at this here Runner Up mattress for sale. Adam? Pete? Yep, I'd say I was fairly certain that's a cigarette hole there.

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CuddleFish Oct. 8, 2009 @ 5:13 p.m.

What do you mean by the word "tramp," Pike?

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Adam92102 Oct. 8, 2009 @ 5:14 p.m.

It could be a glory hole. Did anyone see if there was a hole on the other side?

Look! A line! And I crossed it.

This reminds me of the homeless people that sit outside of our work, Pike, and constantly ask for spare change or food. Seriously, go get a job or something. Other people do it. You think I'm working for- sorry, I get a little agitated by them. Anyway. The guy who keeps posting this ad, I say you reply to him, give him the three rap songs you may have, then ask him if he's got any Raffi (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wpvcyJ5fKuA).

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SDaniels Oct. 8, 2009 @ 5:19 p.m.

"What do you mean by the word "tramp," Pike?"

Uh, oh....:)

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SDaniels Oct. 8, 2009 @ 5:20 p.m.

"Did anyone see if there was a hole on the other side?"

hee Hee. You are a clever boy, indeed, Adam :)

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FullFlavorPike Oct. 8, 2009 @ 10:40 p.m.

The Glory Mattress: for when the walls surrounding the glory hole are just too rough and chilly. For only the most discerning connoisseur of anonymous, public sex.

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FullFlavorPike Oct. 8, 2009 @ 10:42 p.m.

Cuddles: I guess I'd have to say "tramp," like "tramp stamp" but 86 the stamp ;)

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antigeekess Oct. 8, 2009 @ 10:51 p.m.

"It could be a glory hole. Did anyone see if there was a hole on the other side?

Look! A line! And I crossed it."

Yes you did, sir! Nicely done! :)

And soooooo does this guy:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nBu-dLzvqWs

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PistolPete Oct. 8, 2009 @ 10:54 p.m.

I'm f***in' dyin' ova here! NURSE! NURSE! I need a beer! That's definetely a cigarette burn. The douchebag is obviously going to throw it out on Saturday. If anyone wants it,call him up and go over there. Then,decline the sale,say thanks and leave. Proceed to watch his garbage or apartment dumpster.

As for the homeless,whenever they ask"Got spare change,mister?",look them in the eye and say"No thanks.I've got plenty in my pocket." and move along smiling knowing that America is such a wonderful place-and the Whale's Vagina in particular-that even the bums are flowing with silver coinage.

Ring,ring,ring,ring,ring,banana phone! Thanks a**hole! I just got that song unstuck from my head. I was singing that the other day in Ralph's. Some people laughed. Others smiled. Most looked perplexed. There's a word you don't hear everyday-perplexed. Gotta nice ring,ring,ring,ring,banana phone.....

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PistolPete Oct. 8, 2009 @ 11:07 p.m.

Niiiiiiiiiice! Glory Hole 101 was filmed in Chicago. Dude reminded me of Tobias Beecher from OZ.

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FullFlavorPike Oct. 8, 2009 @ 11:08 p.m.

nice vid, AG, whither you find these things...

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PistolPete Oct. 8, 2009 @ 11:09 p.m.

I think AG is secretly a dominatrix with all sorts of punishment tools for bad little boys like myself. Or was that the dream I had last night?....

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antigeekess Oct. 8, 2009 @ 11:15 p.m.

15:

Dream.

Unfortunately, that is 'precisely' the fantasy of virtually every male I attract, and nothing could be further from the truth. I'm so f***ing sick of lisping fetishy twerps with mommy issues looking for a "dominatwix"...

Quite an irritating little sore spot, actually.

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PistolPete Oct. 8, 2009 @ 11:21 p.m.

The male sexual ego is like an egg with a hairline crack in it... I picture AG almost as what's-her-nuts on NCIS. The lab girl. But far sexier.

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SDaniels Oct. 8, 2009 @ 11:52 p.m.

"Quite an irritating little sore spot, actually."

Surely nothing like you'd have to 'go through' [expansive, documentary hand gestures] with a glory hole!

That guy has CLEARLY watched one too many episode of This Old House.

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SDaniels Oct. 8, 2009 @ 11:54 p.m.

"The male sexual ego is like an egg with a hairline crack in it..."

Except when it isn't. Older guys tend to be more relaxed about themselves in all ways. A great thing about getting older, I imagine :)

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FullFlavorPike Oct. 8, 2009 @ 11:55 p.m.

I have this amazing vision of Norm Abram showing you how to mortise-and-tenon together a vintage, Shaker-era glory hole.

(shivers)

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SDaniels Oct. 8, 2009 @ 11:58 p.m.

HHHHHAAAAAA HA! That is EXACTLY what I kept thinking the whole time. So earnestly helpful, too :)

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PistolPete Oct. 8, 2009 @ 11:58 p.m.

"That guy has CLEARLY watched one too many episode of This Old House."

For some reason,I found this hilarious and laughed accordingly! Thanks for a nice belly laugh. :-D That felt good.

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PistolPete Oct. 9, 2009 @ midnight

I was thinking along similar lines,Pike! :-D

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SDaniels Oct. 9, 2009 @ 12:03 a.m.

Ooh, Pete got the "midnight" post. I think that should be more coveted than some dorky snarf fifty half-century quarter of an hour!

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PistolPete Oct. 9, 2009 @ 12:05 a.m.

BTW,SD......I'm hoping I become a dirty,old man when I grow up. You know the kind....pinches the waitress's ass with a mischevious gleam in his eye. I don't want to grow up... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8HMSf...

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PistolPete Oct. 9, 2009 @ 12:06 a.m.

LMAO! I always seem to get the noon and midnight spots. Maybe I'm on here too much... O_o

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SDaniels Oct. 9, 2009 @ 12:07 a.m.

Nahh, you just get 'em. So special. I know, I want to grow up and be like Nan--loose, cool as a goose ;)

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Adam92102 Oct. 9, 2009 @ 12:09 a.m.

You know what would be the cherry on top of that glory hole? Bob Ross painting a happy little scene all around it.

My imagination scares me sometimes.

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PistolPete Oct. 9, 2009 @ 12:15 a.m.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You guys are f***in' killin' me tonight!

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antigeekess Oct. 9, 2009 @ 12:16 a.m.

"I have this amazing vision of Norm Abram showing you how to mortise-and-tenon together a vintage, Shaker-era glory hole.

(shivers)"

"You know what would be the cherry on top of that glory hole? Bob Ross painting a happy little scene all around it.

My imagination scares me sometimes."

You are one funny little possum.

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SDaniels Oct. 9, 2009 @ 1:31 a.m.

"You know what would be the cherry on top of that glory hole? Bob Ross painting a happy little scene all around it."

You mean happy little TREES...and bushes! :) :) :) :)

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