Personal anecdote: attended the Tour de Fat today and had a super time! Lots of great bike stuff and great beers to be drunk. Grammar snobs will take note that I am aware of the difference between "lots of great beers to be drunk" and "lots of great beers to be drunken." First hand experience with both phrases has left me an acute understanding of the difference between. Learning can happen anywhere!

Anyways, big Runner-Up today gets points for showing where poster(s)' priorities really lie vis-a-vis table uses. Also, points for catchy keyword usage. It's no "frogtoes," but it'll do in a pinch.

Careful scrutiny has led me to the winner. It's:

George Foreman Griller GR10ABW - $20 (Normal Heights)

You have not misread. I declare that the single greatest thing for sale (today) on the craig is a Foreman Grill. Now, I'm a serious foodie (a term I dislike but can't help but admit works), as well as a quasi-talented cook and baker. I honestly hope that, someday, somewhere, someone will call me "sort of like Anthony Bourdain, just not as talented." I could think of no better compliment. Why would I advocate the Foreman Grill with it's non-stick cooking surface and single temperature setting? Because it makes the best pressed sandwiches in the world, of course. You could go out and spend six-hundred bucks on an industrial grade panini press, wire your house for 220 volt outlets in the kitchen, and wait an hour for the thing to heat up OR you could buy this Foreman for twenty bones and get the same results. I kid you not--Foreman aficionados back me up on this!

Alright, I shall now impart to you a serious, Foreman grill proven recipe. It is a little work but well, well, well worth it.

Superbwich

Ingredients
One (1) Egg
Two (2) slices bread
Corned Beef
Branston pickle
Mayonnaise
Mustard
Harissa
Swiss cheese

Directions
Fry egg. Spread sauces on bread, making sure to distribute evenly, thereby avoiding over-sogged bread. Corned beef on bottom, then fried egg, then cheese. Toast in Foreman grill. Devour.

The thing about my food tendencies, which will hopefully become clear in future blogs, is that they range from an adoration of foie gras to an equal love of pickled chicken feet (which they have at my favorite restaurant for short money!) and many other supremely low-rent foodstuffs. I guess I just as much beauty in cheese grits as I do in top-shelf steak frites.

More like this:

Comments

PistolPete Oct. 4, 2009 @ 3:17 a.m.

It was actually 1:30 in the morning. Tonight was the night that you got an extra hour to drink if you were at the bar. By that time,you may even eat like Pike and want head cheese. :-D Happy Turn Back The Clock One Hour And Slam 3 More Beers Day,Pike!

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SDaniels Oct. 4, 2009 @ 3:29 a.m.

Love Tony Bourdain! Have you read Kitchen Confidential?

The Linkery is your fave restaurant? Really? I haven't been there yet, though I think I heard they serve non-meat cuisine, too.

Pete, are you totally sure we are turning back an hour tonight? That would be most excellently advantageous for me, trying to get work done here.

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SDaniels Oct. 4, 2009 @ 3:33 a.m.

"In as new condition" is a phrase we could explore, and riff on its prepositional ambiguity in cool, jazzy ways:

Insofar as it is new...(leaves you hanging, waiting for more information on this exciting product!) It is IN listing AS new, which is certainly a condition...It is a condition that is new in as it is...It is in a condition, it is, as new...This just in! A new condition!

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nan shartel Oct. 4, 2009 @ 5:17 a.m.

u tasty creature...a knosh at 5:16AM...u've won my heart

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CuddleFish Oct. 4, 2009 @ 5:46 a.m.

I'm surprised Pike can distinguish between drunk and drunken in his drunk or drunken condition! :) Glad you enjoyed your night, Pike!

Have you considered trying out for that show, The Next Food Network Star? I don't want any of those shows, watched Rachael Ray's 30 minute meals for a time, enjoyed it. The best food show ever was The Galloping Gourmet, he was so much fun!

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SDaniels Oct. 4, 2009 @ 6:52 a.m.

"Have you considered trying out for that show, The Next Food Network Star?"

Those people are almost all home cooks; many of them terrible, talentless crybabies.

Pike should probably shoot for Top Chef or Iron Chef, or his own cooking/textual criticism show: "Pike's Palate Pleasers" :)

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CuddleFish Oct. 4, 2009 @ 7:18 a.m.

Oooh, how do you know these things about those shows, SD???? I only see the commercials when I'm watching something on HGTV. This year, for the first time in my life, I watched a reality competition show, Design Star. It was pretty interesting. The guy they ended up choosing has a pretty wild design aesthetic, I'm waiting to see how he does when he designs for real people.

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CuddleFish Oct. 4, 2009 @ 7:20 a.m.

Oh, and Pike should write a book! Someday when he's famous we can say we knew him when!

Actually, several people on these blogs are kick-a$$ writers! I want autographed first editions from all y'all!!!

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SDaniels Oct. 4, 2009 @ 7:27 a.m.

"Oooh, how do you know these things about those shows, SD????"

I watch tv!!!! Carefully! :)

Watched Design Star a couple of seasons ago. Currently into fashion and food shows, but not whiny remedial home cooks who cry about not having "a point of view," which translates to "cheesy hook for a lameass FN show" like "30-minute housewives" or "I travel and will eat anything in front of you." :)

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PistolPete Oct. 4, 2009 @ 8:29 a.m.

I just realized that I've been fed some bad information. DST doesn't end today.

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antigeekess Oct. 4, 2009 @ 10:45 a.m.

Damn, you people get up way too early on Sunday. Or is it that you all haven't gone to bed yet?

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PistolPete Oct. 4, 2009 @ 12:43 p.m.

I quit drinking about 3ish. I got up because I had to really p*** and noticed that my clock on my phone matched the one on the stove. It was 8ish. After a cigarette,Ifigured"Screw it. Football day is today."

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Adam92102 Oct. 4, 2009 @ 1:11 p.m.

First, I also caught the "In as new condition" and had to do a quadruple take. I mean, what really does that mean? The only time something is new is when it's not used. If the GF Grill was still in the box, I'd say that's new condition. Otherwise, it's just not new anymore. In fact, I think we should create levels of newness for the poster of the ad and also the readers who have to suffer with trying to figure out just what the hell he's trying to say. If "Manslaughter" can have different degrees of itself, why can't "Newness?"

Second, Pike needs to go on Hell's Kitchen. If you're going to go, I say go big. Let Gordon Ramsey settle everything out. In fact, I'd love to see well-known professional chefs on Hell's Kitchen. Can you imagine if Julia Child were still alive and on that show? Man, the ensuing comedy would have probably been too much to handle.

Third, I have a quesadilla maker and I've had a GF Grill in the past. While the quesadilla maker is limited in its usefulness (you can't make a burger on it... well, you can try but I'm pretty sure the logistics wouldn't work well), I still think I enjoy my time with the Q-Maker than I do with the GF Grill. Maybe I just need to get me another GF Grill. Excuse me, I'm going to reply to the ad. I'm in an "in as new" kinda mood.

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nan shartel Oct. 4, 2009 @ 1:16 p.m.

Julia Childs and midnite snacks....i'm there!!!

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FullFlavorPike Oct. 4, 2009 @ 7:31 p.m.

Holy chef. Julia is actually the one person I think could totally take Gordon Ramsey on, any day of the week, and PWN him straight back to that little island off the coast of France.

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FullFlavorPike Oct. 4, 2009 @ 10:21 p.m.

First Degree Newness: You intend for it to be new.

Second Degree Newness: You don't intend for it to be new, but you new it wasn't new and you let it get new anyways.

Third Degree Newness: You just walked in and, ooops, there it was, all new and you didn't see it coming but you couldn't help yourself.

(I don't actually know about criminal justice, like, even a little bit)

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