Blogs | Normal Heights Through the Blue and White
Alkalinity And Color Theory
By FullFlavorPike | Posted November 13, 2009, 3:28 a.m.
When you just don't have time to hang out on the shoeblog, you can stop by my blog for an update on The Most KickA$$ Pair Of Used Shoes In San Diego. They are here. With these shoes, you are never more than a mask and rapier away from literally being Zorro. Would that my feets were not so very large!
Continuing with more Fashion Advice from Pike, a Runner-Up:
(((((White & Black "Terminator" Hoodie))))) - $20 (La Mesa)
If I may outright pilfer a motif from a favorite website...
Wear This Shirt: Before jumping into molten metal and giving a big thumbs up as if to say, "worry not, my brave sacrifice is not in vain."
Don't Wear This Shirt: To your job at Skynet (it violates dress code, obvi).
This Shirt Tells The World: I have been sent back in time to kill you. Or to protect you. Either way, things are going to explode.
And, of course, there's Yet More Fashion Advice from Pike in terms of today's Grand Prix (that's French for "Pontiac Sedan"):
belt buckle "angel" - $30 (normal heights)
If ever you have asked yourself, "what's the single classiest thing with which I could ever adorn my body?" Well, rest assured, that thing has arrived. The Angel Belt Buckle--raw classiness, crystallized into rare plastic-diamond form and typographically arranged for maximum impact.
"But, I'm pretty sure they sell those in the vending machine at the taqueria down the street from me" you say? Well, if you can't tell the difference between the Angel Belt Buckle and just any old plastic bling, then there's little hope.
"Couldn't I just buy a new Angel Belt Buckle, or something even more risque?" Yes, you could do that, but it why bother when you could have a 'new condition' model? Plus, anyone can buy a new buckle.
"Won't it make me look, well, cheesy?" What? Does Donald Trump's hair make him look cheesy? Did ODB's grill make him look cheesy? What about Paris Hilton's tiny dog or Bono's taste in eyewear? Cheesiness is in the eye of the beholder.
"Alright, will you take $25 for it?" Twenty-five (25)? Twenty...Five! Are you mad? The one of a kind Angel Belt Buckle is a bargain at thirty (30) dollars US! Why, you should consider yourself lucky you're getting the chance to buy it for a double-digit sum--in some economies, this would count as price gouging!
"Actually, I don't think that's how price gouging works at all..." What? Since when were you an economist?
"I do have this Ph.D. from Brown, if that means anything to you." Ph.D.? Brown? What are you going on about now? Alkalinity and color theory? What does that have to do with economics?
"No, you don't understand, I have a doctoral degree and..." Oh? Now you're a doctor, are you? You want to check my temperature, doctor? Test my reflexes? Make me turn my head and cough? Is that it, doctor?
"Forget it. Keep your Angel Belt Buckle and your fallacious understanding of price gouging to yourself!" Oooh, look at this, Mr. Doctor's Doctor Pants are too High and Mighty to be held up by the Angel Belt Buckle, whatever shall he do now?
"I'll probably leave, if you don't mind." I don't mind, and I'll be glad to see the back of you! Good day, sir!
"If I may outright pilfer a motif from a favorite website..."
Website not found :(
1. Ah, Brown. They have this cool culture and media program. And Rey Chow!
2. I want a belt buckle that says "Angle"--glitter conditional.
3. Guess which three of these t-shirts I own:
http://store.theonion.com/category/te...
By SDaniels 8:48 a.m., Nov 13, 2009 > Report it
Link fixed.
You have the "Jesus is my Health Insurance" shirt, right?
By FullFlavorPike 9:51 a.m., Nov 13, 2009 > Report it
Yes! You got one, Pikey! And two others.
By SDaniels 9:55 a.m., Nov 13, 2009 > Report it
and I bet you have that hand dryer/bacon shirt. Should, if you don't, Chef. ;)
By SDaniels 9:56 a.m., Nov 13, 2009 > Report it
Also, Kitten Thinks of Murder and Area Woman? I have seen that hand dryer bacon shirt and it would be perfect for me. The only chef-humour shirt I have is my "mise en place" shirt, which has a pic of a knife on it.
By FullFlavorPike 10:06 a.m., Nov 13, 2009 > Report it
Wow, Pike. You really *know* me. Yes! I have the kitten thinks of murder, but the last one, which I am wearing today, (a real cat currently sits on my lap with his face buried in the word "Jesus") is "Are your cats old enough to hear about Jesus?" There is a woman who jogs through my neighborhood wearing a different "I Heart Jesus" shirt every day, and I wonder what she thinks of me and my cigarette, and t-shirt philosophies ;)
By SDaniels 10:52 a.m., Nov 13, 2009 > Report it
You guys are making my fave t-shirt look bad. Wore it a meeting the other night:
http://cgi.ebay.com/REAL-LOSER%2FIDIO...
I still can't access that first link, Pike. :(
The rest is excellent reading, as always.
By CuddleFish 10:53 a.m., Nov 13, 2009 > Report it
Link is working now, thanks!!!
By CuddleFish 10:55 a.m., Nov 13, 2009 > Report it
Omg, Cuddle. I swear Pete posted that he had that shirt, too!
By SDaniels 11:15 a.m., Nov 13, 2009 > Report it
WOW! I have that loser shirt and didn't pay more than $6 for it. :-D Gotta shop around, CF.
By PistolPete 11:17 a.m., Nov 13, 2009 > Report it
T-shirt off!
Wait--that sounded funny, didn't it...
By SDaniels 11:20 a.m., Nov 13, 2009 > Report it
No kidding... Well, it was good while it lasted ...
Goodbye, t-shirt.
*Flings into trash*
By CuddleFish 12:46 p.m., Nov 13, 2009 > Report it
Oh, and the guy who was sitting next to me read it and didn't go away. On the other hand, he wasn't bothering me.
;)
By CuddleFish 12:47 p.m., Nov 13, 2009 > Report it
More tacky fashion:
http://sandiego.craigslist.org/csd/cl...
By FullFlavorPike 1:03 p.m., Nov 13, 2009 > Report it
Tacky would be correct!
I could see someone like this with that on her shoulder...
http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/?p=635...
By PistolPete 1:15 p.m., Nov 13, 2009 > Report it
Inspiring...
By FullFlavorPike 1:49 p.m., Nov 13, 2009 > Report it
re: #13: "Oh, and the guy who was sitting next to me read it and didn't go away. On the other hand, he wasn't bothering me."
The very definition of romance! ;)
re: #14: No one over sixteen of normal IQ has any business with that.
By SDaniels 7:39 p.m., Nov 13, 2009 > Report it
re: #13: "Oh, and the guy who was sitting next to me read it and didn't go away. On the other hand, he wasn't bothering me."
The very definition of romance! ;)
By SDaniels 7:39 p.m., Nov 13, 2009
Modesty forbids!
*blushing*
By CuddleFish 8:05 p.m., Nov 13, 2009 > Report it
Okay, just gonna say this:
We are getting fashion critiques from a guy who cut off most of his pants so he could ride his bike?????????
Please, spare me!!!!!!!!!!
By CuddleFish 8:08 p.m., Nov 13, 2009 > Report it
LOL @ #9 & #10!!! Perhaps Pete & Cuddle could go shopping together at the mall, wearing their matching t-shirts. How cute. :)
SO sorry I missed the t-shirt game today, Daniels. I was gonna go with these 3:
Owls are a-holes. (Link won't post due to the word a-hole in it), and...
http://store.theonion.com/product/i-j...
http://store.theonion.com/product/kit...
(I may have to get this last one.)
By antigeekess 8:38 p.m., Nov 13, 2009 > Report it
re: #18: I think these two sentences:
"Oh, and the guy who was sitting next to me read it and didn't go away. On the other hand, he wasn't bothering me."
should be the very first of a pulp novel we are going to write, entitled "Write to Ravish" or "Reading and the Rake."
The cover is the most important part of this project: Warm beach, lurid sunset, and fiery, half-swoon embrace between Cuddle (swooner, t-shirt slipping off one shoulder), and "guy," of bare, heaving (of course, hairless) pecs and fierce tropical tan, as his eyes rivet to the print emblazoned across her fair bosom.
By SDaniels 8:49 p.m., Nov 13, 2009 > Report it
re: #20: Here's the thing, AG. Today I put on my "Are Your Cats Old Enough to Learn About Jesus?" t-shirt, and walked over to the corner market. Guys comes up, and he is wearing the very same shirt. Sort of a computer geek type. We shared a giggle, and he drove off in his red Datsun or what have you, upon the bumper of which I noted an Onion sticker. I mean, what are the odds there? ;)
By SDaniels 9:08 p.m., Nov 13, 2009 > Report it
I think Fabio's available.
By antigeekess 9:13 p.m., Nov 13, 2009 > Report it
Re #22:
He is your soulmate, your twin flame, Daniels. You should have run down the street after that POS, shedding your brassiere midjog, just to show you were serious.
:)
By antigeekess 9:15 p.m., Nov 13, 2009 > Report it
Hee hee. There's our cover. And what should the title be? "Twin Flames?" ;)
By SDaniels 9:30 p.m., Nov 13, 2009 > Report it
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!
You guys are cracking me up here!!!!!!!!!!!
By CuddleFish 9:34 p.m., Nov 13, 2009 > Report it
Re #25. Absolutely.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twin_flame
;)
By antigeekess 10:44 p.m., Nov 13, 2009 > Report it