Golly, I'm almost dreading what some of you are going to add here. Puh-leeeeze don't get too gross! This is meant to be a fun and funny thread, okay folks?

I will begin, and you all can add your favorites. Since genie jokes are so popular, here's a genie joke to start.

A woman is walking along the beach and she trips over a battered lamp. She digs it out, rubs it, and Poof!, a genie appears. He looks old and ragged. He says, "I will grant you one wish."

She thinks for a moment, then draws a world map in the sand. She points and says, "I wish for peace in the Middle East. If there is peace in that region, then the rest of the world will surely soon follow suit. This will benefit all mankind. That is my wish."

The genie groans, slaps his forehead. "Lady, be reasonable. Those people have been fighting for millenia. Their issues are complex and intricate, and spread over many countries. I'm a tired, old second-class genie, have mercy. Give me something easier for your wish."

She thinks for a moment, then says. "Well ... I would like to get married and have a home of my own and children. Okay, I would like a man who loves and cherishes me with all his heart, who listens and understands my hopes and dreams and fears, someone who will respect my family, someone who loves animals, someone who is strong, but not afraid to show his tender side, someone who will protect me, who will be a good father to our children, a good provider, oh and someone who won't cheat on me or watch sports all the time."

The genie says, "Show me the freakin map again."