Ed Bedford 11:44 p.m., June 19
I make shrinks cry...
News of the day, I’m still in jail. I feel like I’ve been thru every Arizona jail and I could write reviews about each one of them. But I’m in Florence, Arizona now (it’s nothing close to the Italian Florence) and I don’t think I’m going anywhere anytime soon. When I just arrived and while they were doing my paperwork (taking my mug shot for the 20th time, I’m getting really good at those) the thing that scared the living crap out of me – they made me sit on an electrical chair for a minute. I really don’t know what was the purpose of that?! I mean no picture, no nada; I just sat on an electrical chair for a minute with the hands on the armrests and all, that’s it. Did that have a hidden meaning like “Dude, do something wrong and that’s were you will end up”? I don’t know but definitely made me reevaluate my life in that minute. When I get out of here, if ever, I’m going to act like a saint and I will go to church. At least I will try.
The killers are next door to us but I didn’t have the chance to hang out with them. In my section live emigrants only, 47 of us girls. It’s only me and my Bunkie (the girl I share the cell with) that speak English everybody else speaks Spanish. I’m actually really lucky to have her because until now I didn’t have anybody to talk to. She is a 23 years old blond Mexican with black roots growing that lived in the States since she were 3 and never been to Mexico. She has a 2 years old US born son and doesn’t have any family in Mexico. “I’m American as much as I’m concerned” she said and she would go on telling how she was wearing red, white and blue and singing God Bless America on 4th of July. The Emigration knocked on her door on the 5th because of an unpaid traffic ticket.
The funny thing that happened today, I made the jail psychologist cry. I really didn’t mean to. This is the story. I hurt my foot today. I accidentally hit a door with my foot because I’m blind and the jerk faces don’t let me have my glasses. So they took me to see the nurse and as I’m bored out of my mind I started annoying the hell out of that guy with my stupid question. I was kind of joking around with him; it’s the only guy that touched my foot in a while and I don’t have any other form of entertaining. So I was like “What would happen if I don’t eat for a week, are you guys going to let me see the sun?” He looked at me like I’m a crazy person and sent me back to my bathroom (cell). Next thing I hear somebody calling my name. They took me to the shrink; I guess according to the nurse I was planning a suicide. Can you believe it, me the suicidal type haha. So I go and this lady starts consoling me and telling me that everything is going to be all right and that she knows that it’s hard but I “can open up my heart”; that she is “on my side”. I am like huh, I would never ever kill myself. Jail or not, I love my life and I’m going to get out of here eventually and I will love my life even more. I really don’t need a shrink’s help, I have you guys and myself, that’s enough for me to be happy. And I think I kind of told her that she shouldn’t fell sorry for me, she should fell sorry for herself for working in a jail and dealing with crazy people like me. I didn’t mean it in a bad way, I just would never ever want to work in a jail, especially for emigrants; for people like me that didn’t do anything wrong other then want a better life. So she started crying and I had to console her. I feel awfully bad, consoling is her job and I took it away from her. I think next week I would act depressed again and I would give her a chance to do her job. I bet that would make her happy?!
I miss you guys a lot and I know I will see you soon. Don’t you think you will get rid of me that easy!:)
P.S. I know my glasses got returned again so I kissed some more asses and I put a couple more requests in and I think at this time they would let me have them. Can you please sent them again. I’m blind!