Dorian Hargrove 4:30 p.m., March 11
- Community Blog
- Letters from jail
Five days later...
The s#%t went down as you know it. I’m in a freaking detention center and it sucks royally. Hope you enjoyed kayaking and I’m really sorry I “bailed out” on you. I would have so much more rather being there with you, in the middle of nowhere and fish and kayak or just lay there and stare at the skies. Instead I’m here and I haven’t seen the sun for about 5 days now and you know how much I love the sun. I never pictured I would be here! The first 2 days I walked in circles in a freezing cell (damn pigs with flu!) and I tried to sleep on freaing cement instead of on sand under the full moon. There was no window, nothing; just a cell with a stinky toilet. And I was by myself in there, not knowing if it was day or night. That’s when I realized how much I love San Diego! I guess everything happens for a reason and I know I’m being cheese. I love that city! I think I was delirious, I wasn’t sleeping, crying non-stop, not eating and I was going crazy. I guess that’s how you feel when you are on some heavy drugs, it was like switching pictures in front of my eyes, San Diego in bright colors and then I would picture my home country in black and white (and "black and white" doesn't always mean artsy and of a good quality). It was very trippy, like a good HD movie. The guards were making fun of me, oh how much I hate them! One of them felt sorry for me because I was crying out of my mind and he spoke with me for a couple of minutes; asked me what’s my story because I don’t really look like the other “aliens”; I told him my story, he seamed that he understood me, padded me on my back and said that he feels sorry for me. I asked him what does he thinks about it all; what I should do, should I sign the deportation papers that everybody keeps pushing towards me!? His answer was “Well, I don’t want to be lying to you, you really don’t have many chances”. That’s when I stopped liking him. I don’t believe anybody other then myself and I’m going to take my chances, even though everybody says that I don’t have any. I prefer staying in jail then going to a country that I don’t quite know anymore. After a couple more detention centers and jails all over Arizona they transferred me to a women’s only facility but pretty much none of the girls speak English here other then the officers! Out of boredom I started talking to one of them, he didn’t look Native American and I asked him what his heritage is. He told me that his grandparents fled Ukraine in the 30ies. I asked him if he ever spoke with his grandparent about what they went through to get here. He answered with a question “So you want to be the first generation from your family in the US?” and locked me back in my cell. "Damn right I do", but I didn’t have the chance to tell him that. Anyway, enough complaining. It’s an experience and at least I can have a story out of it. I’m going to get out of here, I don’t know how or when but I will! All I want right now is to go for a run on Sunset Cliffs or bike around Mission Bay and watch the SeaWorld fireworks from my favorite spot on Mission Hills. Maybe go to Newport and get some Hasselhoffs and a beer. I knew something is going to happen on Sunday night, that’s why I wanted to go there so bad! Told you my intuition is always right! So I really, really need your guys support right now. My case is pretty simple (all those a#@*es just don’t know what they are talking about). Maybe I read too much Harry Potter and I still believe in fairies but I firmly believe that I should be able to get out of here is just the whole center is under quarantine and I don’t even know when I have a court date and they don’t let me make any phone calls. I really need my glasses; you know how blind I am. They are either in Mark’s truck or in my room. I also need some money, I have my debit card but they don’t let me use it and the only cash I have is a 2$ bill you Denise gave me a long time ago but I need at least 5$ for a calling card so if you send me 3 $ in order to call you I will be extremely happy. I promise I will return every penny as soon as I get out of this evil place. This is getting overwhelming, I think it’s 8pm and they are sending us to bed. I will write more tomorrow. Love, K.:)