Barbarella Fokos 11 a.m., March 27
- Community Blog
- Journal of a restless heart
Whispers in my Master's ear
Tonight I pray for the strength you've promised to give me. My cup is empty and I need you to fill it until it spills over. I need to be treated as the lamb as I am in the midst of thorns and need to be brought to the fountains of water to replenish and eliminate my thirst. I need to learn to rest my troubles on your shoulders and remember that there is no mistake worth learning from. I need your promise that because you put me to this that I will get through it. I feel like the dog who returns to his vomit because I am a fool returning to my folly. Please teach me to forgive as only you know how to forgive. Wipe my tears as I bruise my knees looking for answers. Dear father I am lost in the valley of death and I know it. I feel like the blind walking through this world not knowing where to step next. I feel like the whore in a corner with rocks being thrown. I see my world crushing, testing my strength and faith that this is all for a reason. Is this all a game? I beg to feel your hand lifting me. I feel these shackles in the dungeon of my life and the lion is circling me for the kill. I'm in a war and I need your help to win this battle. I feel the trumpets flaring and the horses coming closer. I know I am weak without you and invincible with you by my side. I have given in large measures to others and I desperately need some back. I see destruction coming and I seek the peace that only you can grant. I need you with me to be strong and have courage because I do not want to be afraid as I shall have you by my side. I know I cry tonight but you will give me joy in the morning. Please father hear me now as I feel so weak. I believe that everything is possible with you. I know this struggle will make me stronger. I know but I need to be reminded by you. I feel my bones have been dried up by my spirit and I need them to be replenished. Lord I ask tonight for the endurance to run this race you have set before me. Make me feel like the king of my emotions as they cut my hair as I mistakenly gave them trust they did not deserve.
Tonight Father I pray to be the person I can only be with you by my side. I can no longer do this by myself. Tonight father I whisper these words and hope your son delivers me with them. Tonight I pray...