Thursday December 23,2010 a day away from chirstmas, im sitting down looking at my dad surrounded by four nurses tryin to stick the IV in him, after four tries they still cant get it in. Kills me! Never did I think I would be sitting in the hospitol for chirstmas yet did I never dream of my dad having some type of " rare dicease". As we sit laughing enjoying our lunch ( my mom my dad my brother and I) talking about our future plans, until one day my prarents lose it all living in four different hospitols for the past 6 months ending up in San Diego. My dad has gone gone threw numerous MRI and CAT SCANS etc.. by all means im glad the docs have tried, but not only did he go threw all that he has gotten two biopsy's and nothing has came up, everything has came up postive, but he has legions in his brain that caused him a seizure which is why he now lives in the hospitol. my dad has epilepsy which is ( numerous siezures). Before thanksgiving he was in the hospitol he was normal as ever a little bit confused but so far ok to go home! so me and my family decided to take him home everything went perfect, in a matter of a couple days he completely went back to seizure mode which I like to call it, reapting everything, not eating, peeing on himself, thinking the lotion is toothpaste, using the razor as a toothbrush crazy as it sounds its true, waking up every morning at four in the morning wanting to go wash clothes, asking where his shoes are every morning, taking his shoes and clothes washing it in the tub wanting to use bleach to clean them, only in a matter of days he falls out the car and off the bed, up to this point my mom is worried and wants to take him back to the hospitol. I walk into my dads room, looking at him and he staring back at me with big ol black eyes screaming i want to get out of here, why is this happening to me? thinking in my head why god why have you let this happen to our family what did we do wrong? I learn that my fathers legions have gotten bigger and are now starting to clump together. let me rewind for a sec... the last major seizure my dad got we took him into the ER same procedures another MRI, nothing shows up yet again everything seems to be going away whatever he ahs is getting better says the " Doctors" but they did find small amount of legions in his brain doctors don't know if they ahve been thier already and they dident catch them or they are new? to me this sounds like a whole lot of BS, then my family finds that the reason why he had another siezure is because the nurses or doctores forgot to put in the order to controll his seizures. so now we go on home after a week before thanksgiving. The legions are now clumping together,my dad has had several siezure that my family wasent aware of. my dad has been getting silent seizures, Holy Shit!!! is all i can think of at the moment, he is now worse than ever. not to mention his case is being studied in several different lab works, been seeing by seven different nerologist and not counting all other different doctors he has seen threw out his journery in four hospitols. my family is falling apart infront of my eyes desperet to kow what is going on, but as for now all we can to do is keep holding on and him die trying. Christmas is around the corner, knowing my life has a new beginging, not only mines but my family aswell. my father only seems to be getting worse. Tonight was painful, watching him yell, taking his IV out because he wants to go to San Francicso, thinking hes at work looking for his tool box and wanting to reupholster everything around him, getting aggressive with the nurses. emberassing but i know this is not him, hes taking more meds than he has ever taken in his whole entire life. My mom is dying inside, I can see it in her eyes her precense her way of talking, and her veins are blue as ever. our new life begins at the hospitol. remorsing over the fact that its only a matter of time that my dad wont be around for long. facing reality has hit home, my father is in a world of his own. IV is what is keeping my dad alive the nutrients are flowing threw his body like snakes slithering around, medication killing him softly, his own body becoming addicted to this new profound lifestyle he has now entered.steroids are becoming a monster, a furious devil coming out at night wanting to lash out at anything that is in his way.

Merry Christmas heres a new IV for you Mr. Enrique.

As I right this, not knowing what to say, never written a blog knowing my words are scrambled and wrong to be Im just writing, not caring one bit. not a professional but a pro at kiling time while im sitting here watching my father get double dosage of IV to fall asleep.

Comments

ahousebythesea Dec. 25, 2010 @ 3:12 a.m.

Hello Miriam,

I am sorry for the pain your family is feeling this Christmas and for so many months now. It can be a very lonely road when a family member is so sick and most especially around the holidays.

If you can, go to this website whose members are experiencing the same thing and help each other out with information and support...just families and individuals dealing with the same issues as you. Fill out the information to join the group and they will send you an email about logging in. It helped me tremendously to know others were going through the same thing with a loved family member.

http://www.braintrust.org/btcarejoin.htm

Also, go to the following website to read about hospice care for terminally ill family members and maybe talk to your Dad’s doctor about it. San Diego has some wonderful hospices. A lady named Diane created this website when her Dad was ill and it has lots of helpful information.

http://www.brainhospice.com/index.html

There are many sites offering information and support for families dealing with epilepsy and brain lesions and tumors. Go to Yahoo Groups and look around to find some. A good one for brain tumors (if you Dad has one) is www.virtualtrial.com. />

You are not alone even though it may feel like it on this Christmas day.

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nan shartel Dec. 26, 2010 @ 1:44 p.m.

so sorry it's this way for u Miriam..my best to u ur dad and family at Christmas

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SurfPuppy619 Dec. 26, 2010 @ 5:14 p.m.

I hope your dad improves, and they find the cause of the legions.

When I was a kid I had my tonsels taken out and they could not get the IY into my vein, they stuck me 10 different times in 5 different places.... and as a kid you hate shots and anything sharp like that-it was a nightmare.

Hope things get better-and soon.

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JonathanWadley Dec. 26, 2010 @ 9:44 p.m.

I am sorry to hear about the pain that your father is experiencing. I cannot imagine the toll it is taking on you and your family. If sharing it helps, even if it helps just by killing time, then I think I speak for everybody when I say, keep sharing. I will keep y'all in my prayers.

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