Vincent Farnsworth 6:31 p.m., Dec. 4
Monday: Nom a taco or 2 and spike your Jamaica at El Zarape ($10) on Park Boulevard (University Heights), then head over to Bourbon Street (almost next door) for well drinks/beer starting at .50 from 9 and increasing .50 every 30 minutes ($6, and you bought a round!). DJ old lady will be spinning the top techno hits from 1994, and the video monitors are tripping you out, but you don't care cause it's FUN. Your friends enter you in the booty-shaking contest, which you lost miserably (but you got a free shot for your trouble). After you met your drunken new best friend (who is a man wearing booty shorts and hot tank), have your DD get you over to Panchita's ($3.00) on C Street in Golden Hill for a late-night panaderia run... But on the way, stop at the Ruby Room on University for their drink special (a beer and a shot for $5). If it's after 10 you missed the panaderia anyway... so I hope you were tipping. And you should pay your DD.
Tuesday- Today you're gonna walk a lot... Or you could get your DD ready, as Wednesday is a great night for parking in the Gaslamp. Dinner at the wonderful Sushi Deli (First and Broadway), where you split a 4x4 with a friend, get an extra salad, split an appetizer and a drink special (Sapporo and sake!!) all for a measly $11. You're done before 7, so go to House of Blues (I know, it hurts...5th and Bdwy) and get one of their crappy domestic bottles for $1 each (TOLD YOU!)! ($3) You're happy to walk the few blocks to Joey's Smokin BBQ (4th and Bdwy) and grab some nice draft beers for $3 ($6). And fries, if you're hungry again (you know how sushi can be... $4, or the appetizers were half off at HoB) DD can drive you guys all the way to El Dorado (11th and Bdwy), where street parking is doable, there's a taxidermied white buffalo, and you can dance the night away with a rum n coke ($5) if you didn't get to those fries.... though it's not like you needed it.
Wednesday- Tonight is Mama's night. Grab Mama's Lebanese (on Alabama and El Cajon Blvd) or Harar Ethiopian (Texas and ECB, $8 for Mamas, $11 for Harar, your pick) then head next door/across the street respectively to Live Wire and grab a local draft and a shot ($10). make best friends again with the hipsters and their dogs (who are allowed inside, YAY!). The extra dollar goes into the jukebox so you can hear that song from a randomly selected doom band that's been in your head all day. Then you go to Kadan's on Adams for drum and bass night, yaaaay!!! Your legs aren't even sore from last night. As usual, you get a tall can even though you totally don't need it ($4).
Thursday- Dress up and have a classy classy night by hitting up the fabulously hidden and delightfully decorated Vin De Syrah (5th Ave, Gaslamp) happy hour, where you can get a few glasses of house wine ($10). You parked for free cause it's Thursday and you headed out earlyish, btw. You're on the list at Voyeur (down the street), cause Thursday means a world-class house DJ for free if you're there before ten. DANCE PARTY!! XD You can get a few tall cans ($9) at Voyeur, then spend the rest on carne asada fries at Adalberto's on Market and 25th when the drunchies hit ($6). Man, you were starving!
Friday- MMMMMM. L&L ($7) or Which Wich ($6) for dinner tonight! Both on 5th in Hillcrest. Then you go to Bar #1 down the street... and a couple vodka tonics and a shooter later ($8) you're golden. You're on the list at SPIN nightclub (Old Town), which is free and maybe they are having a hosted bar!! Oh nooo, it's not hosted. But the people here don't molest you and are kind of interesting to talk to, and if you change your mind you can go on the beautiful multi-level dance floor and rock out to some electro. You can even afford a few buds while you're dancing ($10), unless you met someone who will buy you somethin delicious. But you didn't go home with them cause your DD will get mad. AS THEY SHOULD, cause you have to pay them for gas and buy them Los Panchos on Washington Street on the way home ($10).
Saturday- North Park night! Start at Bar Pink on 30th where you can grab a beer and some shots of whiskey... and maybe even a table or a game of pool ($9). Then you can walk next door to super-trendy True North... but there's a LINE. Wow, lame... and so many yuppies. So you walk down the street and hit up the Office instead, where you grab a yummy mixed drink ($4). It's not yet 10 and you're on the list at U-31 (University and 31st), so you head in there for your dance party fix and invest in a tall can ($4). CRAP, you forgot to eat. DD takes you to Jack n the Box for some dolla menu fabulousness ($2). If you weren't tipping the entire night (FOR SHAME!) you still have time for Toronado marvelous beer selection (not that you'll appreciate it at this point) or more 30-somethings (but lots of cuteness) at the Whistle Stop (Both on 30th in North Park).
Sunday- Really? Aren't you tired yet? Okay, then it's pho to ease your unbelievable hangover at Pho Ca Dao (El Cajon and 52nd, $7). Then for some reason you want to drink more, so it's Tower Bar at University and Euclid... not hoppin yet but you're already drunk!??!! ($10). Mention yelp for an absinthe discount if you're into that... You spend the rest of the night seeing whatever band is at the Beauty Bar, using the rest of your dollas drinking with your friends and talking about how awful it is to go out all the time.