Ian Anderson 5 p.m., May 30
Unsubstantiated rumor claims that Marlins beat the Padres
According to sources which cannot be confirmed as reliable, the Miami Marlins beat the San Diego Padres
Major League Baseball’s deal with the Fox Network includes some sort of provision that when Fox shows a game to a National audience, other games being played in that time slot can’t be shown on their normal regional television coverage. So, Fox Sports San Diego couldn’t televise the game on Saturday. Even MLB.com, where you can pay to have games brought to you via computer or other means couldn’t show the game.
This means that quite possibly it never happened. Who really knows if the Marlins beat the Padres 7-1 on Saturday? I picture the FSSD crew the morning before the game, cameramen and all, heading out to some beach-side shack in Miami sipping on those fruity rum drinks with umbrellas in them, because why not?
Laura McKeeman and Kelly Crull in shorts and halter tops, wearing flip-flops and talking fashion, with Mark Grant cracking jokes behind them in casual slacks and a Hawaiian shirt. The camera people, with a day off from fiddling with their equipment, suck down cold Guinness and rate the girls in bikinis that pass by.
Sure, there was the radio broadcast, and they almost had us for a minute. Until the radio voice of the Padres, Ted Leitner, mentioned inning after inning how poor of a team the Marlins were since ownership won’t spend money to field a proficient team. Unlike the Padres.
Uncle Teddy probably watched that episode of MASH when Hawkeye and B.J. faked a baseball broadcast to get back at Frank Burns. Or maybe the scene in the movie Bull Durham when the game was broadcast after the play-by-play guy got descriptions over the phone when the team was playing an away game.
Basically, the game never happened, since no one saw it (even the sparse crowd in Miami probably aren't sources). Eric Stults, a normally reliable starter, didn’t give up three runs in the first inning and three more in the fourth. Alexi Amarista didn’t make a really bad error in center field that led to a Marlins run.
The home run that Tim Stauffer gave up to Giancarlo Stanton in the seventh inning? Never happened. Some guy named Jacob Turner for the Marlins didn’t pitch a complete game, and Chase Headey didn’t go 0-4 again.
So, regardless of what you read in the paper or on the internet tomorrow, the Padres are still at .500 and are now in a tie with the Colorado Rockies for second place in the division. Well, except for Time Warner Cable customers. For those guys, the Padres have yet to begin the season.
Everth Cabrera (hamstring) is going to stay in Miami until Monday while the team continues to evaluate him. If he continues to look good in pregame drills, then they’ll send him to low-A Ft. Wayne for a game and he’ll be back with the club in Boston. Jedd Gyorko (groin) is closer, and participating in pregame activities as well, but no time-table has been set for Jedd quite yet. This, according to sources, of course.
Sunday, the Padres will play the Marlins early (according to the Padres media relations department, which can normally be trusted, never mind they claimed the game on Saturday could be watched on MLB.com, but we knew better). The Padres will go with Andrew Cashner (5-3, 3.34) to face the Marlins Nathan Eovaldi (1-0, 3.00). Game time is 10:10 AM PDST and carried on radio 1090 AM and will be televised by Fox Sports San Diego. Presuming the FSSD crew didn’t party too hard on their day off.
More like this:
- Padres bull pen fails again as Marlins win — July 1, 2013
- Padres spear Marlins to get back to even — June 29, 2013
- Padres beat Marlins again thanks to Stults and Venable — May 8, 2013
- Rockies roll over Padres — April 13, 2013
- Richard Good, but Padres Offense Again Not Supportive — May 6, 2012