Don Bauder 5:30 p.m., July 27
Julian Pie Company
Last week, on a drive up to Julian, I thought about Mr. Ian Pike, who wrote a couple of months ago about stopping in Julian to eat pie during a five-hour wintery cold bike ride. As I made my way up the winding roads, I imagined Mr. Pike’s legs and hindquarters burning and how after such a feat, he most certainly deserved to eat all the pie he could fit into his body.
Due to circumstances of metabolic slow-down, I have arrived at that place in life where one cannot have pie unless one deserves pie. And so, as I drove, I considered what I had done or could do to deserve my own slice of pie. My friend Beans sat beside me in the passenger seat, and though we had discussed going for a long walk while in Julian, that option was out because she wore flip-flops.
For lunch, after much debate about whether to be good or to be bad, we chose healthy food. That, in itself, was probably reason enough to deserve pie.
While we stood in line at the Julian Pie Company, I became distracted momentarily by the Take and Bake pies in the freezer next to me.
Doesn't one have a responsibility to bring a whole pie back down the mountain when returning home from Julian? It was a hard call, but I decided the rule did not apply if one’s husband and teenager were out of town, thus leaving one alone — save for a three-year-old who doesn’t care for pie — with a whole pie.
When I approached Eddie with my order, he asked if I would like ice cream on top of my slice of Dutch apple. I stood staring at him for a long time.
Was a healthy lunch enough to deserve ice cream, too? I did some quick calculations and decided that all the calories I would have eaten in the whole pie certainly added up to much more than I’d get in one tiny scoop of ice cream.
“Sure. Why not?” I said to Eddie.
And when I couldn’t choose between vanilla and cinnamon ice cream, Eddie told me I could have half of each. What a guy.
Although I had done nothing active (such as ride a bike for five hours or even walk for one) to deserve such a decadent treat, I pulled a Wimpy and promised myself that tomorrow I would.