Jeff Smith 2 p.m., April 16
- Community Blog
- Daily Crasher
The Naked Schwinn Twins (or...Coke is it!)
The last couple days I’ve seen video footage on the news of police chasing someone that stole a Coke machine.
Now, for those that haven’t seen the video – how would you guess someone would steal a Coke machine? A couple big lugs trying to pick the thing up? Nah. Tie a rope around the machine and have that attached to your car, and hit the gas.
Now, I’m not sure what exactly the criminals wanted. A few cold sodas and a lot of quarters? When criminals do this with ATM machines it makes a little more sense.
Anyway, the police cam shows the thing sparking up as it’s being dragged. Made me think this might work the next time someone is getting married. Instead of empty cans tied to the bumper, just have full cans inside a Coke machine.
The police have been getting in trouble lately because they’ve maced people unnecessarily. But if I were one of the cops that finally caught these losers, I wouldn’t be able to resist pulling a can of Coke out of the broken machine and opening it right in their face and watching them get sprayed by the sticky stuff.
Another interesting story involving the cops (and with no video), had two naked men riding their bikes at night in a New Zealand town. They were completely naked.
The funny thing is, the police didn’t cite the Schwinn twins for indecent exposure. They were merely warned they needed helmets.
So, everyone’s strict about that law it seems.
I would’ve warned the riders about the dangers of the banana seat, or things getting caught in the spokes.
I just remembered a party I was at once. A person told me they were pictured on the inside of a KISS album. It showed the crowd, but apparently, he was the most clearly visible fan, holding his arm up.
I wonder if either of these naked cyclists was pictured in the Queen “Jazz” album.