I’ve listened by to my stepdad, a hardcore union man, complain for years about people not buying American cars. He claims that Japanese cars aren’t any better, and when magazines like Car & Driver dispute that, he would just say they’re full of crap.

There are some people that always rant about the opposite, claiming our country can’t do anything right.

One thing that other countries seem to do better than us, is crime. And strangely enough, their legal systems all seem to be tougher on criminals, too.

Anyway, I’m thinking about two recent cases. Here’s how a crime went down in Stockholm, Sweden.

There was a cash depot place, and before dawn, masked robbers descended from a helicopter onto the roof. They got through a glass pyramid, set off explosives, and got millions inside.

They hoisted themselves back up on rope lines and escaped – all in 20 minutes.

Police were stalled by a fake bomb outside the helicopter hangar.

It’s like something from Oceans 11!

Now, let’s look at the recent case in America I’m thinking about. It took place in Pensacola, Florida.

A burglar robbed a man’s house. But he didn’t do a real thorough job. He left a 100-pound plasma-screen TV. Who could blame him? Must be hard to carry out. Especially if you don’t have a helicopter.

So, as a police investigator was on the scene taking notes on all the valuables stolen, the burglar did what any good, hardworking American burglar would do. He came back and stole the TV!

It was two hours later, and the man was telling police the guy got his watch, wallet, and video game system. The investigators that were originally there, left the TV in the backyard, which is where the burglar had put it. They were going to dust for fingerprints. But none of that deterred the burglar, who left no fingerprints for the cops. I’m thinking this guy should at least be funny about it now; send the homeowner a note, asking if he could come back for the instructions, because the remote is too hard to figure out.

I remember having a small condo on Carmel Mountain Road burglarized. I was in my room sleeping, as they cut a big hole in the glass window in the living room. My car was in the shop having brakes done.

They took a leather jacket behind the a chair in the kitchen, my wallet (with the money I had in it for car repairs), and they opened all my CD and VCR cases. They must not have liked my collection of discs, as nothing was stolen.

I asked the police that showed up, if they’d dust those for prints. The guy shook his head no and left, after taking notes for about 30 seconds. I was blown away.

I got a call 45 minutes later from a school bus driver. He found my wallet in the gutter, minus the hundreds of dollars, but still including a blank check I had in it, my photos and ID, credit cards, and also a check written out to me for a radio show I wrote.

That was convenient.

When I offered the bus driver on the phone a reward, he refused. But he asked me out to dinner. He had seen some of my family photos in the wallet, and thought I was cute. It made things a tad more awkward when my wallet was returned.

Although, it made a little more sense than the burglars I keep hearing about in America, that rob someone and then return later to ask the woman out on a date. That seems to happen once a month.

Only in America.