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At the Movies (long film titles, to go with all the long lines you'll see this weekend)

I didn’t want to put much thought into todays blog. Okay, that’s a softball. Someone is going to post that that’s no different than usual. Fair enough.

But I’m going to bed soon, hoping to get enough sleep that I don’t fall asleep after slipping into that tryptophan coma. At a guests house, you can’t unbuckle the pants after eating too much. And you can’t doze off when someone is telling you a boring story about their job.

I’ll feel guilty sleeping in. My girlfriend is doing that walk for the homeless. I believe it’s a Father Joe Carroll thing. She won’t have the luxury of sleeping in. And as she said the other morning at 6 a.m. “The morning sucks. I’m going to dread doing the walk that early. I feel like punching people in the face. The homeless and the homed.”

Usually a lot of new movies open up on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, so I thought I’d talk about some films.

I just saw The Messenger. And I’m guessing Woody Harrelson will get an Oscar nomination. It’s strange to think of the guy serving drinks at Cheers, going on to such an interesting acting career (although, he played the same character in Zombieland; but instead of telling families their son was killed in a war, he’s killing zombies). I’m much more impressed with Ben Foster, who was so great as the villain in 3:10 to Yuma. The movie has a few missteps, but I think it’s good.

I saw a commercial for the animated “Fantastic Mr. Fox.” The trailer made me laugh, but I’m not a big Wes Anderson fan. Other than Rushmore, all his films have disappointed me (and Rushmore was overrated). And why does he continue to use Owen Wilson in everything? Aren’t we all tired of his nasally voice and puppy dog facial expressions?

Blind Side was a decent family picture. But it doesn’t really give you anything that you didn’t see from the trailers. I’ve enjoyed seeing the real football player, who was just drafted by the Baltimore Ravens, doing all these interviews and getting lots of love from everyone.

There’s a movie out called The Box that looks awful. It’s weird that the guy that gave us the interesting Donnie Darko, comes out with this drek. The premise is, you can push a button and you’ll get rich. But it kills someone you don’t know. It’s like an updated “monkeys paw” story.

Two movies I’ll be seeing this week, both have the worst titles of anything all year.

They’re both playing at the Landmark in Hillcrest. It’s good that place doesn’t have an old movie theatre style marquee, because the titles wouldn’t fit.

They are: Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans. And, Precious: Based on the Novel “Push” by Sapphire. I’m not kidding. That’s the full title of the movie.

I’ve never even seen quotes used in a title before. If the author of the book wouldn’t let them use it without having the word “Push”…why didn’t Oprah and Tyler just call the movie “Push”? Why is it an entire sentence that’s usually relegated to a sentence you see on the screen before the credits roll?

And, didn’t we have a Bad Lieutenant film in the early 90s? I never saw it, but know Harvey Keitel was in it. And I believe it had a similar premise – a cop going bad and doing drugs.

If movie titles are taken, pick something else. And don’t make it long, because they never even write the entire thing out on those screens inside the box office. You walk up to buy tickets, and if you forget the title of your movie, you get confused glancing up and seeing: Lord/Rings. Well okay, that’s a bad example. You’d be able to figure out that. But sometimes I see words and I turn into an AARP member, that has questions like “Hey…what is that ‘Men Goats’? Is that a new horror flick?”

And I’ll continue to sound like an old geezer when I’m walking to the snack bar with my girlfriend, complaining “I can’t believe I’m going to pay $6 for a popcorn, and 15 minutes later be so thirsty from all the salt, I’m going to go back and buy a $4 Coke. And look at this – one of those boxes of Red Vines is the same price as an entire tub of them at Costco.”

It’s only a matter of time before I need an usher to walk me into the darkened theatre with a flashlight, so I don’t trip and break a hip.

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I didn’t want to put much thought into todays blog. Okay, that’s a softball. Someone is going to post that that’s no different than usual. Fair enough.

But I’m going to bed soon, hoping to get enough sleep that I don’t fall asleep after slipping into that tryptophan coma. At a guests house, you can’t unbuckle the pants after eating too much. And you can’t doze off when someone is telling you a boring story about their job.

I’ll feel guilty sleeping in. My girlfriend is doing that walk for the homeless. I believe it’s a Father Joe Carroll thing. She won’t have the luxury of sleeping in. And as she said the other morning at 6 a.m. “The morning sucks. I’m going to dread doing the walk that early. I feel like punching people in the face. The homeless and the homed.”

Usually a lot of new movies open up on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, so I thought I’d talk about some films.

I just saw The Messenger. And I’m guessing Woody Harrelson will get an Oscar nomination. It’s strange to think of the guy serving drinks at Cheers, going on to such an interesting acting career (although, he played the same character in Zombieland; but instead of telling families their son was killed in a war, he’s killing zombies). I’m much more impressed with Ben Foster, who was so great as the villain in 3:10 to Yuma. The movie has a few missteps, but I think it’s good.

I saw a commercial for the animated “Fantastic Mr. Fox.” The trailer made me laugh, but I’m not a big Wes Anderson fan. Other than Rushmore, all his films have disappointed me (and Rushmore was overrated). And why does he continue to use Owen Wilson in everything? Aren’t we all tired of his nasally voice and puppy dog facial expressions?

Blind Side was a decent family picture. But it doesn’t really give you anything that you didn’t see from the trailers. I’ve enjoyed seeing the real football player, who was just drafted by the Baltimore Ravens, doing all these interviews and getting lots of love from everyone.

There’s a movie out called The Box that looks awful. It’s weird that the guy that gave us the interesting Donnie Darko, comes out with this drek. The premise is, you can push a button and you’ll get rich. But it kills someone you don’t know. It’s like an updated “monkeys paw” story.

Two movies I’ll be seeing this week, both have the worst titles of anything all year.

They’re both playing at the Landmark in Hillcrest. It’s good that place doesn’t have an old movie theatre style marquee, because the titles wouldn’t fit.

They are: Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans. And, Precious: Based on the Novel “Push” by Sapphire. I’m not kidding. That’s the full title of the movie.

I’ve never even seen quotes used in a title before. If the author of the book wouldn’t let them use it without having the word “Push”…why didn’t Oprah and Tyler just call the movie “Push”? Why is it an entire sentence that’s usually relegated to a sentence you see on the screen before the credits roll?

And, didn’t we have a Bad Lieutenant film in the early 90s? I never saw it, but know Harvey Keitel was in it. And I believe it had a similar premise – a cop going bad and doing drugs.

If movie titles are taken, pick something else. And don’t make it long, because they never even write the entire thing out on those screens inside the box office. You walk up to buy tickets, and if you forget the title of your movie, you get confused glancing up and seeing: Lord/Rings. Well okay, that’s a bad example. You’d be able to figure out that. But sometimes I see words and I turn into an AARP member, that has questions like “Hey…what is that ‘Men Goats’? Is that a new horror flick?”

And I’ll continue to sound like an old geezer when I’m walking to the snack bar with my girlfriend, complaining “I can’t believe I’m going to pay $6 for a popcorn, and 15 minutes later be so thirsty from all the salt, I’m going to go back and buy a $4 Coke. And look at this – one of those boxes of Red Vines is the same price as an entire tub of them at Costco.”

It’s only a matter of time before I need an usher to walk me into the darkened theatre with a flashlight, so I don’t trip and break a hip.

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