Susan Luzzaro 6:30 p.m., July 31
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- Daily Crasher
Blinded by the White -- Sammy Sosa and Amy Winehouse Get Goofy
A few celebrities are in the news for changes to their personal appearance.
Amy Winehouse finally made it out of rehab, and decided the next best move would be breast implants.
I’m guessing she’ll probably get another few tattoos to go with the collection she already has that plaster her pale skin.
But the rumor is, she misses the curves she used to have, and is considering butt implants.
I had heard of this procedure, but didn’t think anyone actually had it done. Niecy Nash, the cute, sassy African-American from Reno 911, had admitted to wearing something while on the show.
I didn’t think people in real life wanted big butts, unless they were dating Sir Mix-A-Lot (note to self: update rap references ). I mean, aren’t woman (and Gary Shandling) always asking if their butt looks fat in various outfits?
Maybe Amy Winehouse feels that it could help her in other ways. If she gets drunk and falls down, well…that’s some built in padding.
Or, like that bear that fell out of a tree onto a trampoline. She’d be able to spring right back up. It would work well on a concert stage.
And, I hope that’s where she ends up soon. I’d love to hear that amazing voice live (while she’s still alive).
Home run hitter Sammy Sosa is being talked about. And it’s not for performance enhancing drugs.
The rumor is he’s going through some kind of skin bleaching procedures. All the sports shows were talking about it, and showing “before” and “after” photos.
I’m guessing he’s just a big Michael Jackson fan, and this is in tribute to him. Although, if that’s the case, maybe he should’ve just taken a batting glove and glued a bunch of sequins to it or something.
And it’s not just humans getting into the physical changes. On The Tonight Show, Conan just mentioned wigs for cats. His punchline was “The only thing sadder than wigs for cats, are women that have cats.”
I’m wondering if the wig is just for that breed of cat that has no hair. And if they’re made out of real cat hair, if you’re supposed to pet the wig…and if so, does it come off?
I think there’s probably a William Shatner joke in here somewhere, but I’m too tired to figure one out.