That's a really lame title for a blog. It makes me think of Attack of the Killer Tomatoes. Or the Queen song "Dragon Attack".

I thought about going with something like that stupid Gwen Stefani song, but just thinking about her spelling banana, would've put that nasty ear worm in my head. And I didn't want to do that to anyone.

When I heard that a teenager attacked people with a banana, I immediately went back to those lame old comedies my stepdad watches. People like Harold Lloyd, the Keystone Cops, or [insert black-and-white physical comedian here].

I thougth the teenager peeled the banana and threw it on the floor. He yelled that if anyone tried to escape, they'd slip and break their neck.

But what this kid in Winston-Salem did was try to rob the place concealing the banana beneath his shirt, so it would resemble a gun.

The 17-year-old could've used a fake gun. Or the ever popular finger, which always works wonders as a fake gun in a jacket pocket.

The store owner and a customer jumped the kid and held him until authorities arrived.

Now, are you ready for my favorite part of the story? Okay, I'll do it multiple choice so you can have some fun.

Guess what happened before the authorities arrived....

-- The store owner shoved the banana in one of the kids orifices. -- When the kid was tackled, the banana smeared all over his clothing. -- When the kid was booked into county, one of the inmates said "Is that a banana in your pocket, or are you just happy to be here?"

Okay, well...none of those happened. What happened was -- as the teenager sat there waiting for the police, he ate the banana.

Now, this blows me away on so many levels. First...why would the store owner and the other customer let this kid up? What if he ran away? Don't you keep someone pinned down until authorities show up?

Second, isn't the boy destroying (or eating) the evidence? I can just see the police showing up and asking where the weapon is, and the boy pointing to his stomach.

Either way, it made for an interesting story. Maybe we'll see it in News of the Weird next week.

Comments

David Dodd May 18, 2009 @ 10:44 p.m.

I've seen all of them, Mike. I'm a huge Python fan, from way back.

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mike1 May 19, 2009 @ 12:52 a.m.

No "argument" from me there. wink wink, nudge, nudge.

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thestoryteller May 18, 2009 @ 3:59 p.m.

The kid doesn't sound very smart, but the store owner and the customer sound even dumber...

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mike1 May 18, 2009 @ 7:40 p.m.

There's a great Monty Python skit in which there's a self defense class in how to protect yourself when someone attacks you with a piece of fruit. After going through all the fruits they've already done (grapes? red and black. peaches? yes. in syrup? yes) they realize they haven't done....yup bananas. After the teacher (John Cleese) shows how it's done ("you then eat the banana thus disarming him"), someone in the class asks "what if he's got a bunch?" only to be yelled at to shut up. Later when the students pretend to attack the teacher with a banana at the teacher's request, the teacher in turn kills the students with various weapons like a gun and dropping a 16 ton weight on the person.

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Josh Board May 18, 2009 @ 8:08 p.m.

That...is the funniest sounding skit ever. Loved the line "thus disarming him".

I have to watch more of those old Monty Python skits. When I was a kid, I didn't find them funny. One in five skits would work. But I was young, and would probably appreciate them more now.

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mike1 May 18, 2009 @ 10:16 p.m.

Thanks refried. Why didn't I think of that? You release the tiger : ) Also check out the argument clinic sketch.

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Josh Board May 19, 2009 @ 12:19 a.m.

I don't have speakers that work on my computer.

The only skits I remember liking from my childhood, are the dead parrot, the money song that Cleese sings, the nudge nudge, wink wink.

I loved Fawty Towers, though.

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mike1 May 19, 2009 @ 12:22 a.m.

Me too. Caught them in repeats in the 70's and became hooked. My girlfriend is tired of me quoting from the argument skit and the cheese shop skit. ("Do you in fact have any cheese at all?" "No sir.") But at least I don't constantly say "we are the knights who say nit." : ) Give Python another chance Josh. And watch The Odd Couple.

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Josh Board May 19, 2009 @ 9:40 a.m.

Hey...I think I heard a morning radio show play the argument skit the other day. It was absolutely hysterical.

Is that where you go into a different room, depending on what kind of argument you paid for? It was incredibly funny.

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mike1 May 19, 2009 @ 7:48 p.m.

First he accidentally walks into the getting hit on the head lessons room. Then the abuse room.

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Josh Board May 19, 2009 @ 9:37 p.m.

I seriously got to give those guys another chance.

On a side note, I may have told this story before. Somebody told me, a few years back, they went and saw the original Python guys on stage in L.A. They did some skit with a huge hand.

Well, after the show he went for a bite to eat, then decided to go back and see if any of the cast were around backstage. They had all left, but that huge hand was in the dumpster (as it was the last show of some tour or something). He took it and put it in his car or truck, and has one cool item for the living room.

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Josh Board May 19, 2009 @ 9:38 p.m.

Hey...one thing I just remembered. As a kid, this song about Spam got stuck in my head. I'm sure it was by Python, but can't be positive. Any confirmation on that you can give?

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mike1 May 19, 2009 @ 11:37 p.m.

Yes spam is from Python. Get some speakers and google it : )

I think the ken theater had some spam thing going on when they showed a python movie or something. Before my CA days I think but I remember seeing some pictures in the theater somewhere and now I can't recall if it's still there.

I know python was at the hollywood bowl but that was back in 1980 or so. Eric Idle was touring a while ago. It was called the Greedy Bastard tour. I missed it though. He recently was at the George Harrison Hollywood Blvd star ceremony and spoke a little. "Not many people know that George died at Paul McCartney's house which is one reason why I never go to John Cleese's house." Forgot if we've mentioned the Rutles but it's essential viewing for any Beatles/Python fan.

"Always look on the bright side of life." (cue whistling)

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Josh Board May 20, 2009 @ 11:11 p.m.

The Rutles is hysterical.

The Python tour, I think, was a lot more recent.

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