Jeff Smith 2 p.m., April 16
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- Daily Crasher
Unprepared Christmas Gifts
My friend Judy is a genius.
She’s a retired attorney that does volunteer work for the ACLU. So…maybe not as much of a genius as I think. But…
She gave me a gift for Christmas. And, I had seen these President Obama magnets that have a variety of outfits and hairstyles. I gave her those (she volunteered during his campaign). I should’ve known she’d already have them on her kitchen fridge.
She told me this great story about going to LA to see a friend. She left a bunch of gifts and cards in her backseat, that weren’t for anyone specific. She said, “If they give me a gift, I can say ‘Oh. I left yours in my car’.” At which point she can retrieve one of the nicely wrapped candles or whatever.
I did that with a guy I play racquetball with 15 years ago. I would give him gifts and he always felt awkward about it. He’d tell me he ordered a gift but it hadn’t come in yet. Then, I’d either never get the gift or, he’d give me some generic basketball item that you really wouldn’t need to “order”.
I didn’t like the idea of feeling awkward giving him a present, which once culminated with us each giving the other the exact same gift (a book on movies).
I had filled out a few Christmas cards (I either buy funny ones, or something that says “happy holidays” so I’m not offended folks that don’t celebrate Christmas) for the women I see at the dog park. But it rained one day when I planned on going, and another day none of the regulars showed up.
And the last day before Christmas, I forget the cards. The worst thing was that a woman named Jan gave me this great gift bag, with treats for my dog (and Hershey Kisses for me).
I was running errands with a friend of mine a few days ago, and she had to drop something off at her bosses house. She was a bit bummed, saying “I really should get her a Christmas card.”
We stopped into a mall, and she bought a small gift as well. As she was writing a message on the car in the parking lot, she screamed. I asked what was wrong and she pointed to the cover of the card. Santa Claus was....African-American.
I wasn’t sure what was funnier. The drawing of Santa, or the weird, attempt at being hip, message that went with it. I asked why she picked out that card and she said “It was the only Christmas card left, other than the really religious ones. And my boss knows I’m not really religious so I just grabbed this.”
Maybe before next holiday season, I’ll tell my friends about Judy and her gift and cards hidden in the back seat. It saves last minute trips to a crowded mall. Or cards that you would’ve never picked out.