Garrett Harris 4 p.m., July 31
- Community Blog
- Daily Crasher
What do LeBron James, Michelle Obama, and Jared have in common?
There were a few news stories floating around my head this week that I had thought about blogging. But each story had an interesting aspect about it, but not much that I could really delve into. And as the days passed, I forgot most of the details.
The first was LeBron James. He not only turned down a contract extension with Cleveland, but Nike announced they have a new LeBron sneaker.
I remember in the mid-80s on my high school basketball team, one of our players bought the new "Air Jordans." It was the first time a pair of sneakers had been priced at $100. And with their black and red colors, they just looked gaudy and weird.
At this point, what can shoe companies do that make these things new? They did the pump, they've done velcro straps. Other than color, and price, there will be nothing different about these shoes that each new NBA superstar has their name on.
Well...a lot of talk about Hillary Clinton freaking out on a student that asked her a question about her husband. Yes, that was fun. Love the pants suits, Hillary. And the head roll and finger pointing you did. You could've been on a Springer episode with those moves.
I think the funnier story was Michelle Obama at the Good Stuff Eatery in D.C. (run by some contestant on "Top Chef").
Like a good mom (or bad, depending on your opinion of eating meat and burgers), she brought her daughters with her last week for cheeseburgers, fries, onion rings, and milkshakes.
And these milkshakes brought all the boys to the grill. The boys being the Secret Service. Three of them stood standing over the grill as the guy made the burgers. Aren't the Secret Service supposed to take bullets for the President? Not fry grease for the First Lady.
Geez, smelling that food cook...I would say "I'm going to have to taste some of this burger, to make sure it's okay for the First Lady to consume. Pass the mustard, please."
One person that would've done that is the 500-pound man in Houston, who was arrested for selling illegal CDs.
He had been searched before being locked up, but the cops failed to find a gun that he had hidden.
Anybody wanna guess where it was hidden?
That's correct, Jared. It was hidden under rolls of his fat.
But instead of getting extra credit for admitting to having the gun as he was walking to the showers, they added a charge of "possession of a firearm in a correctional facility." (If I were him, I would've waited until after the showers...you never know if that gun would come in handy during that time)
This makes me think of all the possible commercial possibilities for Jared. I don't know why, but that guy just irritates me. I hate his goofy face. And the fact that the Subway spots are never creative.
Maybe the next time they do that deal where you can buy sides for $1 each, he can lift up rolls of fat from a customer in line. And the various sides can fly out.
Now that would be a great commercial.