I've told my girlfriend about my fear of dying in the jaws of a shark. Which, probably won't happen. I mean, they always tell you that there's a better chance of dying from a bee sting. That's especially true since I do all my swimming at LA Fitness.

But, we're talking about a trip to Hawaii. And, she has her heart set on some snorkeling.

Hawaii is shark attack central.

I remember as a kid, my parents taking a trip to Hawaii. And, they met a guy on the plane that was missing an arm.

A shark attack.

Then there was the inspirational story of the teenager girl that lost on arm to a shark in Hawaii. She was on her board catching waves months later.

I don't know. Maybe they just like arms.

I'll probably end up snorkeling. It looks like fun. But I swear, if disaster strikes, I'm going to be going off on her like that couple in Open Water...where they start blaming each other.

Well...not sure how much time I'll have to yell at her, when I'm screaming for my life, as a Tiger Shark tears me from limb to limb.

And today, all over the news, was a guy in Florida who saw a five foot shark grab his rat terrier (that's a dog, not a marmot). The guy said he yelled at the shark (an approach that never works). Then he charged it, with balled up fists, dove into the water, and started punching it.

It let go of little Jake (talk about "mans best friend"...more like "dogs best friend").

And, as we're discussing sharks, over the breadsticks at Pat & Oscar's, I realize I'll have to get into the water. I ruined one of our recent trips, by constantly complaining about being bored in museums.

I go to get a refill of my soda, and she walks outside to wait for me. As I head out, I see a homeless guy handing something to her. I look closer, and see it's her food.

As we walk away, he says "Hey...I have free movie tickets to Beverly Hills Chihuahua, if you want to go." I wasn't sure if he meant with him, or if he was giving us the tickets. It didn't matter. Neither of us had an interest in seeing it.

Now, if it had sharks eating the dogs, you might have a film.

I asked her what just happened. She told me, "He asked for money for a bite to eat. I said I didn't have any, but he could have my pasta. I handed it to him, and he said...'Uh, does this have pork in it?' I told him it had marinara sauce on it. He looked down at it again, thinking about it, and said 'This will just give me heart burn.' And he handed it back."

I couldn't believe it. Someone claiming they needed a "bite to eat", and refusing food. It's more reason why you should just ignore pan handlers.

We then walk over to Pier One Imports, a few stores down. The guy approaches as we walk out and asks us for spare change. I said, "Dude, we're the ones that just offered you the pasta." He said, "Oh yeah, right. I realized that just as I was starting to ask."

I then noticed something I hadn't earlier.

He had a big black dog with him. I wondered if that makes it easier or harder, to beg for food.

I also wondered....why they didn't use the movie tickets. It's probably one of the few films out there they both could enjoy.