Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs

You Can't Hide Your Pryin' Eyes

I bought a birthday card for my friend Judy, a liberal lawyer. One of the few hardcore liberals I can actually stand.

Oh, except when she tells me about the money and volunteering she does for the ACLU, an organization I hate.

Anyway...I go into Rite Aid in San Marcos. I got lucky. I only had to go thru five cards before I found one that was perfect. Since we have a friend that always makes cakes on birthdays, this card had someone making a vegan birthday cake that nobody wanted to eat.

So I'm in line making my purchase. And the cashier looks at the card. I'm thinking to myself...she isn't. No she isn't. She is not reading my card.

She then opens it. She laughs, looks at me and says, "That's cute."

I want to say "Why are you commenting on my purchase? Did you comment on the woman in front of me purchasing tampons?"

Instead, I thought I could make my point in a friendlier way. I said "If it wasn't cute, would you have said 'This card isn't funny. You should get a different one."?

She smiled and said, "Uh...I guess not. But, I just like to, you know, read the cards. It gives me ideas for which cards I want to buy when I need to pick one up."

I'm also thinking that there are people behind me that would like to get in and out of this store, without the cashier taking the time to read the card.

I also think about the card I saw that said "Fartacus, and other great farters in history". It was unfunny, as most fart humor is. When you opened it, there was a sound effect that accompanied it.

What would've happened if this was the card I purchased. And she opened it.

Would I have to explain to the person behind me, "That wasn't me. It was the cashier."

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all

Previous article

Didja know I did the first American feature on Jimi Hendrix?

Richard Meltzer goes through the Germs, Blue Oyster Cult, Ray Charles, Elvis, Lavender Hill Mob

I bought a birthday card for my friend Judy, a liberal lawyer. One of the few hardcore liberals I can actually stand.

Oh, except when she tells me about the money and volunteering she does for the ACLU, an organization I hate.

Anyway...I go into Rite Aid in San Marcos. I got lucky. I only had to go thru five cards before I found one that was perfect. Since we have a friend that always makes cakes on birthdays, this card had someone making a vegan birthday cake that nobody wanted to eat.

So I'm in line making my purchase. And the cashier looks at the card. I'm thinking to myself...she isn't. No she isn't. She is not reading my card.

She then opens it. She laughs, looks at me and says, "That's cute."

I want to say "Why are you commenting on my purchase? Did you comment on the woman in front of me purchasing tampons?"

Instead, I thought I could make my point in a friendlier way. I said "If it wasn't cute, would you have said 'This card isn't funny. You should get a different one."?

She smiled and said, "Uh...I guess not. But, I just like to, you know, read the cards. It gives me ideas for which cards I want to buy when I need to pick one up."

I'm also thinking that there are people behind me that would like to get in and out of this store, without the cashier taking the time to read the card.

I also think about the card I saw that said "Fartacus, and other great farters in history". It was unfunny, as most fart humor is. When you opened it, there was a sound effect that accompanied it.

What would've happened if this was the card I purchased. And she opened it.

Would I have to explain to the person behind me, "That wasn't me. It was the cashier."

Sponsored
Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Ask a Hipster — Advice you didn't know you needed Big Screen — Movie commentary Blurt — Music's inside track Booze News — San Diego spirits Classical Music — Immortal beauty Classifieds — Free and easy Cover Stories — Front-page features Drinks All Around — Bartenders' drink recipes Excerpts — Literary and spiritual excerpts Feast! — Food & drink reviews Feature Stories — Local news & stories Fishing Report — What’s getting hooked from ship and shore From the Archives — Spotlight on the past Golden Dreams — Talk of the town The Gonzo Report — Making the musical scene, or at least reporting from it Letters — Our inbox Movies@Home — Local movie buffs share favorites Movie Reviews — Our critics' picks and pans Musician Interviews — Up close with local artists Neighborhood News from Stringers — Hyperlocal news News Ticker — News & politics Obermeyer — San Diego politics illustrated Outdoors — Weekly changes in flora and fauna Overheard in San Diego — Eavesdropping illustrated Poetry — The old and the new Reader Travel — Travel section built by travelers Reading — The hunt for intellectuals Roam-O-Rama — SoCal's best hiking/biking trails San Diego Beer — Inside San Diego suds SD on the QT — Almost factual news Sheep and Goats — Places of worship Special Issues — The best of Street Style — San Diego streets have style Surf Diego — Real stories from those braving the waves Theater — On stage in San Diego this week Tin Fork — Silver spoon alternative Under the Radar — Matt Potter's undercover work Unforgettable — Long-ago San Diego Unreal Estate — San Diego's priciest pads Your Week — Daily event picks
4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
Close

Anchor ads are not supported on this page.