Walter Mencken 11 a.m., May 24
- Community Blog
- Daily Crasher
And in this corner....Check Mate!
It's not hard coming up with a topic for a blog each day. Usually it's something I want to complain about. But sometimes life surprises me. I went to see the new Batman movie and in a packed theatre, not a single person talked. Not a single cell phone went off. Some nitwit behind me had a watch beep twice at the top of the hour. And, I wondered why he didn't just leave that in his car or at home. But overall, a pleasant experience.
I sometimes rip an item out of the paper I think would make an interesting blog topic. I throw it on my dashboard, and find it a month later, and it's longer relevant news. Or the sun has faded it, and I can't read the notes I wrote around it. Sometimes I'll stuff it into my pants pocket. And, I find it later in the washing machine, all torn to pieces.
I saved an entire section of the paper a week ago when I saw a story on this. And, I heard one of the sports shows on the radio talking about it.
It's a sport that combines boxing and chess. The photo was classic. Two big palookas in a ring, moving chess pieces. I think it would've been better if they would've been forced to do it with their gloves still on.
The creator of this "sport" thought it would be the ultimate of brains and braun.
I just wondered...with all the boxing matches that are fixed, what happens in this sport? Will people say, "There's no way Leroy "Bonecrusher" Brown would've moved his bishop to that position. It left his queen open. Oh wait...Don King is involved in this. I knew it!"
I started thinking about how in sports, you often talk smack to your opponent. Roberto Duran called Sugar Ray Leonard's sister some nasty things. Would these fighter/chess players be taunting the last move, before throwing a left hook?
Are they sitting at the chess board, concentrating hard on the next move, with a trainer squirting water in their face and giving them a pep talk?
I dunno. I could probably think of a few more odd things about it, but instead, my mind started drifting to other sports you could combine.
For some reason, the first thing I thought of was the Rubik's Cube and baseball. The pitcher would have to complete at least four sides of it before throwing a pitch. For each minute it takes, that counts as a "ball".
Of course, it would have to be built a lot stronger, so when a Louisiville Slugger smacks it, it doesn't shatter into a million pieces.
Auto racing and Scrabble. When you pull into your pit, you come up with your word. Usually, you want your pit crew to work fast as they change your tires and all that. But if they are slow, it gives you a bit more time to come up with a better word.
Don't be surprised though, if Danica Patrick marches over after the race and says, "You know that wasn't a word. I should've challenged you, but I really wanted to get back onto the track. You should think about keeping a dictionary in your car."