I don't know all the details...but Pacman Jones was banned for the entire football season for some kind of shananigans. Drugs, guns, something. I can't remember now. So many NFL players get involved in these things, it's hard to keep track.

I do remember, he petitioned the league, so his ban could be cut in half and he could rejoin his team. He was denied.

So, imagine my surprise (that's sarcasm), when I hear that he punched a woman at a strip club the other night.

Then I remember...one of the things he was involved in, was a shooting at a strip club. Although, that may have been Ray Lewis...again, I confuse these NFL criminals.

The story got weirder when I tuned to an L.A. sports station, and they said the woman he punched was his own attorney that was with him at the strip club. Now, I've heard of having attorneys on retainer. But, having them with you at strip clubs? I mean, does she do table dances for him, too?

Another radio station said that Pacman is saying this is just a shake down, from people trying to get money out of a rich athlete. Well, sorry. You don't get the benefit of the doubt on this one. It's kind of like O.J. If he runs into trouble with the law, we have a tendency to think he's guilty.

And, what I'd tell Pacman is this...if you weren't at a strip club, none of this would've happened (whatever it is that did actually happen).

Had he rented movies (with his, uh...attorney), made some popcorn, sit back in his recycliner -- I doubt he'd be in this kind of a mess.

But then, who knows. NBA player Jayson Williams shot and killed a limo driver in his house (while fooling around with his gun). A Padre pitcher needed stitches after chasing a friend around his house, and falling on a beer mug.

I guess professional athletes aren't safe anywhere.

Except on the field.