I remember as a kid watching TV commercials. Remote controls were still a relatively new item, and since you had to get up to change the channel, you just watched the channel you had on.

Some commercials were fun. The beer commercials were classics.

So now when I see a bad commercial, I wonder what the deal is.

I've only seen this spot a few times. It's for Burger King, and the ad campaign is calling people "Whopper Virgins." A term that I have to think, will have a few parents complain to the company. After all, Paris Hilton eating a Wendy's burger while washing her car garnered a bunch of complaints. Why wouldn't this?

The premise starts okay. They're going to take a Whopper to places where people don't eat them. They'll then have a "taste test" with the people. So, I see Eskimos. And it's cute that they have them saying they usually just eat seal burgers or whatever.

But, these taste tests are always a bad idea. Because, just mentioning Big Macs, well...that got me craving a Big Mac, not a Whopper.

Coke and Pepsi always do those, where one is mentioning the other. And, as much as we all remember the Super Bowl spot with the driver drinking the other cola, do we really remember which was which? And which he picked?

My next question comes from my 3 and a half years working for Mickey D's in high school.

The burgers we made only stayed for 10 minutes. They were then either sold or thrown away.

SO, how did they get Big Macs to the Eskimos? Did they go buy some in a McDonald's, and then transport them there? How good is that going to taste, after an 8 hour flight?

And later when I'm playing racquetball or swimming laps, I start thinking of how I would've created a commercial for Burger King. I'd avoid the word "virgin."

I might think about getting a Jared look alike (you know the dude...the slob from the Subway ads). I'd have him walking down the street, towards a Subway.

I'd have a Burger King truck pull up...maybe that scary looking King guy could get out, and offer him a burger. He could look around, scarf it down, and then go running in the opposite direction.

Instead, I'll just see in a few weeks, the next location Burger King "goes" (ie green screen in a studio in Burbank). It might be a tribe in a forest somewhere, where they only eat the animals they've caught.

And, they'll be speaking some clicking language we can't understand. But it will say on the screen, that they are saying how much they love the Whopper, and the Big Mac secret sauce scares them.

Comments

Ponzi Dec. 23, 2008 @ 11:16 a.m.

Speaking of correcting people. "Paris Hilton eating a Wendy's burger..." it was actually Carl's Jr.

Burger King ads are frequently flops. If another burger chain deserves to fail, it would be Burger King. Absolutely the most disgusting fast food burger out there. Whenever a place has to lure kids with toys to eat their food, run... (that goes for McDonalds too)...

Why people will spend bascially the same or more for food at these dumps is beyond me, you can get fresh ingredients and much better burgers at In N Out.

What Burger Kings hsows you're going to get.... http://thewvsr.com/whopper.jpg

What you actualy get..http://thewvsr.com/whopper1.JPG

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Ponzi Dec. 23, 2008 @ 11:19 a.m.

Let's try that again...

What Burger Kings ads shows.. http://thewvsr.com/whopper.jpg

What you actually get... http://thewvsr.com/whopper1.JPG

Actually these are all some good photos of the "Ads vs. Reality of Fast Foods... http://thewvsr.com/adsvsreality.htm

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Josh Board Dec. 23, 2008 @ 3:02 p.m.

Oh yeah, it was Carls. They had that lame campaign where it's not great, unless it gets all over the place. The commercials were actually disgusting, seeing mayo and ketchup fly everywhere.

Sure, entertaining. Prisoners working out, watching the warden eat one. Or the cop that has his windshield splattered, but hardly appetizing.

I think the Whopper tastes great. I just try to avoid fast food, now that I'm watching my weight.

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antigeekess Dec. 23, 2008 @ 7:13 p.m.

"And, they'll be speaking some clicking language we can't understand. But it will say on the screen, that they are saying how much they love the Whopper, and the Big Mac secret sauce scares them."

That's pretty funny, Board. Maybe you missed your calling in advertising. Perhaps Less-Filling Fred (not to be confused with Right Said Fred or Drop Dead Fred) can hook you up.

I had fast food for the first time in a while last night. The Cordon Bleu combo -- curly fries and all -- from Arby's. Woke up this morning with my eyelids all puffy and unable to breathe through my nose.

Wholesome stuff.

I was watching Bourdain on the Travel Channel last night, running around with his little friend Nari in Korea. I think it's my favorite episode of that show so far. I found myself REALLY, deeply coveting the food that's served on the street there. Piping hot, real food. It looked delicious.

I mean, although they're pretty cool, there's more to life than fish tacos and In-N-Out, where the burgers actually look like the picture.

http://www.in-n-out.com/default.asp

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Ponzi Dec. 23, 2008 @ 7:52 p.m.

Josh, you've given me an excuse to go try a Whopper after a 10 year hiatus. If you like them, they must be decent. I stopped going to BK when they stopped offering their taco. Their tacos were way better than Jacks.

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MsGrant Dec. 24, 2008 @ 7:47 a.m.

Three and one-half years at McD's? You must have been running the place! My fast food stint was at Jack in the Box. This was before they had indoor seating, just a small patio to sit outside. True drive-through eating. We would make crazy concoctions out of the food, like wrap french fries in bacon and cheese, and stuff them in our mouths. The managers would leave to go to the bank or whatever, and we would go nuts, giving away free food to our friends and eating everything in sight. It was actually fun, looking back. Everyone talks about how their job in fast food was awful, but mine wasn't so bad. And NOBODY had better fried tacos than JITB, Ponzi! BK's were just a shoddy rip-off. There used to be some sort of deep-fried burrito thingy they all used to serve. You never see that anymore.

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JohnnyVegas Dec. 24, 2008 @ 7:51 a.m.

Nothing will touch a Big Mac-ever.

Well, maybe a Dopuble Double from In n Out, ut that's it.

As for Jack's tacos-eeeewwwwwwww....are those awful!

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MsGrant Dec. 24, 2008 @ 8:30 a.m.

Johnny, millions of drunks can't be wrong!!! I wouldn't touch them with a ten foot pole now, but in my teens they were tops. Of course, growing up in New York, we had little exposure to real Mexican food, so we thought they were divine.

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Josh Board Dec. 24, 2008 @ 10:46 a.m.

Cool...I'm getting Ponzi to try a Whopper again. Folks at Burger King should give me some kind of kick back!

I totally agree, Burger King tacos tasted almost exactly like JITB.

I, too, love the Big Mac. I had one every day that I worked there, and I still never got tired of them.

In n Out makes a good burger...but their fries and shakes suck.

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antigeekess Dec. 24, 2008 @ 6:02 p.m.

Agreed about In-N-Out's fries & shakes, JB. They do suck. Love the burgers, though.

My fast-food stint was Burger King. Assistant manager, in fact. My favorite sandwich was always the fried chicken patty sandwich, with just mayonnaise & a few pickles. BK is also where I learned that some people like their fries with mayonnaise (which isn't bad). But better yet, we really liked those crispy little BK onion rings together with tartar sauce.

However, those little rings were deadly. Just tiny packets of highly volatile methane gas waiting to happen, really.

Nothing worse than the Burger-King-onion-ring farts.

All 3 of my principal fast-food addictions are either not available or minimally available in California.

My own personal Trinity of Evil:

http://whataburger.com/browse_the_menu.php

http://www.sonicdrivein.com/home.jsp#/menu

http://dairyqueen.com/us-en/

(And I ain't talkin' just the DQ "Treat Centers," like in PB. Gotta have the FULL MENU.)

When I lived for while in a place called Apache Junction, AZ (east Phoenix valley), all 3 of these were lined up next door to each other on the main thoroughfare through town, about a mile from my house.

You can probably guess what happened during my stay there.
Fat pants were involved.

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MsGrant Dec. 25, 2008 @ 10:09 a.m.

Wow, anti, that is the trifecta of junk food! I honestly think the Apache Junction DQ is where we saw the 4X4 Pinto Station Wagon - I'm not kidding. I actually have photos! Arizona rocks when it comes to fat pants food. Like the Waffle House. Everywhere.

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JohnnyVegas Dec. 25, 2008 @ 12:15 p.m.

My own personal Trinity of Evil:

http://whataburger.com/browse_the_menu.p...

http://www.sonicdrivein.com/home.jsp#/me...

http://dairyqueen.com/us-en/

I went to grad school in the mid west and there are a number of restaurants/fast food places there that we don't have in CA.

One was Chik Fil-A (which have recently opened in So Cal);

http://www.chick-fil-a.com/#

The one place I LOVE is "The Waffle House";

http://www.wafflehouse.com/

I cannot figure out why there is not one in CA! They have thousands all over the mid west and east coast but not a single one in CA!

I LOVE "The Waffle House"! Anone else have it as their favorite......???

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rickeysays Dec. 25, 2008 @ 2:13 p.m.

Isn't that where Kid Rock got arrested for pistol whipping someone?

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antigeekess Dec. 25, 2008 @ 7:44 p.m.

Rickey Said:

"Isn't that where Kid Rock got arrested for pistol whipping someone?"

Yup.

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antigeekess Dec. 25, 2008 @ 8:13 p.m.

MsGrant, I can't believe you've even 'been' to AJ. It begs the question, "Why?" I asked myself that, many times. I'm not surprised that's where you saw a 4x4 Pinto Wagon. In fact, now that I think of it...

...was it BLUE?

Johnny V, both Chick-Fil-A and Waffle House also rock (and not the kind preceded by the word "Kid.") I grew up eating at Waffle House in Texas with my parents. Big ole dinner-plate size waffles with lots of syrup. You betcha.

There was a Chick-Fil-A in the mall, and next to the first Post Office where I worked. I loved to eat them just like I did the BK chicken sandwich -- mayo & pickles only. As I recall, they also had excellent little brownies at CFA that were highly addictive.

The main reason we are deprived of so many things in Cali is probably the cost of land. The bottom line just isn't as attractive here.

Although not necessarily "fast food," I also miss these. A LOT:

http://www.theblackeyedpea.com/

http://www.grandys.com/source/index.html

(Check out those cinnamon rolls.)

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MsGrant Dec. 26, 2008 @ 10:20 a.m.

It was the fake wood panel style, but the base color looks to be a bluish-green. I love towns like Apache Junction. Where else can you find a real DQ on a road trip? Apache Junction, of course! We do lots of road trips when I go to visit my sister who lives in AZ. I also like Gila Bend. Weird little place. I love the Space Age Lodge.

The Waffle House has hash browns you can get "covered and smothered". Heaven on a plate. Gravy, cheese, onions, chili, whatever you want. The ultimate in trucker breakfast. I can't eat like that anymore, but one can still dream.

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Josh Board Dec. 26, 2008 @ 11:27 a.m.

gravy has no business being anywhere on a breakfast plate. and, am i the only person that doesn't care for waffles? i mean, they're okay, but people go nuts over waffle house types of places.

i mean, what's the deal with Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles in L.A.? so many brothers love that place. it sounds absolutely disgusting to me.

hash browns...yes! waffles...if there are frozen ones in my freezer and nothing else to eat, okay.

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antigeekess Dec. 26, 2008 @ 8:40 p.m.

"Where else can you find a real DQ on a road trip?"

Well, Texas. Nobody from outside of the Lone Star State believes me when I tell them this, but DQs show up in places where you'd expect only cows and the occasional flying saucer stopping by to give them their instructions.

DQs in Texas spring up like mirages, except in green rolling hills and pastures instead of desert. You're driving for bloody hours on end, with nothing but nothing to look at. And then suddenly, there it is -- a Dairy Queen.

And parked in a circle around it is every pickup truck within a 50-mile radius. I'm not even kidding.

The trick at this point (especially if you're a female with no feller with 'er) is to get the welfare recipient behind the counter to take your order. Cuz if you ain't from these parts, they tend to ignore your fancy city ass. But as long as you don't mind eventually being served food by someone with dirt in the creases of her neck, it's worth the hassle.

However, if traveling alone, I highly recommend you get it to go. If you sit, one of the local tobacco-chewing Casanovas may take it upon himself to join you at your table.

Not kidding about that one, either. Unfortunately.

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MsGrant Dec. 27, 2008 @ 3:32 p.m.

Sounds heavenly. DQ knows its market. Next time I drive through Texas, I am going to stop at every single one. Maybe write a story about it. DQ in the Dust Bowl - a Romance Amongst Blizzards and Buzzards or something. Josh, waffles are not my favorite breakfast food. I always went to The Waffle House for the hash browns only. And gravy most certainly has a place on the breakfast plate - if you are hungover.

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Russ Lewis Dec. 28, 2008 @ 1:15 a.m.

Dude, next time you drive through Texas in the summertime and see a Dairy Queen, stop immediately and go inside for a Pepsi shake. That's right, a shake made out of soft-serve vanilla ice cream and Pepsi. It's a true white-trash delicacy, and they're outrageously refreshing. I don't know why they don't make them at the DQs out here; maybe they do, they're just not on the menu.

See what it takes to get people talking, Josh? Food.

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Russ Lewis Dec. 28, 2008 @ 1:19 a.m.

re #3: The slogan was something like "If it doesn't get all over the place, it doesn't belong in your face." I don't know what the selling point is in a pitch that essentially says, "This is the sloppiest thing you've ever eaten." Not that I eat fast-food burgers, but that ad campaign was a huge turn-off for me. And I heard that it tested very, very poorly with Hispanic moms. That made complete sense to me.

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antigeekess Dec. 28, 2008 @ 8:37 a.m.

Russl observed:

re #3: The slogan was something like "If it doesn't get all over the place, it doesn't belong in your face." I don't know what the selling point is in a pitch that essentially says, "This is the sloppiest thing you've ever eaten."

That's because you're not a cretin, russl. That's who those ads are aimed at. John Q. Cretin "thinks" that being a messy, disgusting slob with a complete lack of etiquette is "manly."

(Grunt, grunt.)

Never heard of the Pepsi shake! And I'm not normally a Pepsi drinker -- kinda surprised that, being Texas, they're not doing it with Dr. Pepper. But if DQ serves it, it's got to be good.

I am ALL about the white-trash delicacies. :)

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Josh Board Dec. 29, 2008 @ 10:51 a.m.

That's funny that you mention all these DQs being in Texas and how crowded they are. One of the best movies you'll ever see, is called FANDANGO. Kevin Costners first starring role, and has Judd Nelson playing a nerd.

They are driving thru Texas, and they stop at a DQ that is the "happenin'" place in town, and they pick up on some girls. Judd Nelson claims they're "jail bait." When Costner says, "That never stopped us before," Nelson responses with "Yeah...that's because we were jailbait, too!"

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