I read in the newspaper last week, that a woman was arested for stalking actor John Cusack.

Sheriff's deputies were called to his Malibu neighborhood, where a cab driver reported a passenger didn't have enough money to pay for the ride. Cusack ran out and said he recognized the woman as someone that had been stalking him.

Now, celebrities get stalkers once in a while. But what interested me in all this is her name. It's Emily Leatherman. Now, that is so close to "Letterman"...I'm thinking she dropped the ball by not stalking him.

I mean, a pyscho should think things like -- if David Letterman marries me, my name will only have to change by a few letters.

And, Letterman is in need of a new stalker.

Remember that woman that broke into his house a few times, and cooked meals and slept in his bed? Well, about seven years ago, she was hit and killed by a train.

The last time Letterman was in the news for something weird like this, it was a gardener or someone he employeed, that hatched up a plan to kidnap his baby. The guy was turned in by his co-worker.

Well, now on second thought, maybe the stalkers should leave Dave alone already.

Go after Jimmy Kimmell.